Euphoria

Chapter Eleven

His arm ached and Subaru gripped his bruised and darkened flesh with an iron grip. He glanced to the flesh that was colored purple and black, tainted with the poison of a human and winced as the sharp voice of his mother wavered against his mind.

Filthy abomination. The words in his mind were spat out with a cold and hateful tone with the image of his mother staring at him with disgust accompanying them. He could see her clearly, her body shaking in fury at the sight of him, her pale skin red where her hands clawed at her arms , and the voice that screamed for him to go away.

Filthy, Filthy, Filthy. Screams that cut hotter than any knife.

He hadn't noticed he had been peeling at the skin of his arm until the blood dribbled through his fingertips and stained his clothes in a dark black. It was dark blood, cursed blood and he grit his teeth in annoyance.

"What are you doing here Suba-chan? I didn't expect to see you!" A cheery voice called out.

Subaru glanced at the vampire that approached him, that stupid smug grin on his lips making Subaru want to punch him until his head popped off.

The vampire tilted his head, his long ponytail following, and placed a finger on his lips as he eyed Subaru's wound in mild curiosity. "Oh you're hurt? That's a rare sight. Did Reiji finally get fed up with you destroying the house?"

"Shut the hell up," Subaru growled, his growing irritation clawing at his stomach.

"It was a joke, a joke~ There's no need to be rude!"

Subaru wasn't in the mood for games and swiftly ignored the antics of the vampire known as Ferid. Ignoring him was the only option and Subaru was thankful when the vampire didn't press him any further.

Within the darkened confinements of Sanguinem Subaru was no different than the other vampires. He knew that much, yet it still annoyed him when the tiny human occupants scurried away at his presence. Their faces were fear stricken as if they could see just how much of a monster he really was, and he ducked his head to ignore them.

He was almost home to the Sakamaki mansion when a sharp cry for him made him pause. Sparing a single glance behind him, a hooded vampire rushed towards him.

"Young lord, Subaru," The vampire breathed, "Please come see to Lady Christa! She begs to see you and can't be contained!"

Subaru scowled. He wanted to curse the vampire, to send them away with a harsh snarl and deny the request. But he couldn't. Like the devil, she had appeared in his mind and now required his presence, a phenomenon that made Subaru sag his shoulders and utter a quiet, "Alright."

He turned away from the Sakamaki mansion and followed the hooded vampire. It wasn't long before he was led to the mansion that housed Lady Christa, his precious mother.

The mansion was smaller than the Sakamaki's, and the windows were barred shut except for the room highest on the right. That room possessed a window that had white colored curtains and no doubt belonged to his mother, and a single glance by Subaru confirmed as much. He could see the silhouette of his mother peeking from the curtains before the shadow disappeared from his sight. She seemed excited, and it left Subaru with a foul taste in his mouth.

The vampire led him to the top of the mansion where other vampires scurried around to usher him forward, their pale hands yearning to shove him inside of the room yet fearful enough to resign themselves to beckoning him. The door to the room was all but thrown open with the sharp turn of a key and Subaru found himself staring at the face of his mother who wrestled with a vampire in order to reach him.

"Nii-sama, Nii-sama! I knew you would come!"

Once Subaru had fully entered the room, his mother was let go of and quickly rushed to grab him by the neck and nestle her face into his chest.

The vampires around them quickly fled, no longer desiring to be in the presence of her and quickly shut the door to the room and locked it with a painstakingly loud click.

Subaru was quiet and let his mother stroke his cheek as her eyes seemed to glitter with love. To outsiders this was the look of a proud mother doting on her child, but Subaru knew the truth of this love, and that it was a love that was not directed at him.

"I'm not Karlheinz," He said, turning his head away from her cold hands.

His mother looked at him a moment longer, her red eyes that matched his own searching his face for clarity. She was slender and frail against him, and her thin hands reached out to him once more, her gloved hand falling short as Subaru stepped away from her.

"I'm not that man," He said louder, "That man won't come no matter how much you cry for him."

Subaru clenched his fists and tried not to look at her. His mother so delicate and frail looking, had been abandoned by his father Karlheinz and locked away where no one could find her. And yet she still loved him, that man who was undeserving of anyone's love.

"Su...baru?" She quietly spoke.

Subaru stiffened, and glanced at her with a soft gaze. She had called his name and looked at him with an almost puzzled expression.

"You came to see me?"

Subaru didn't trust his voice to respond and nodded his reply. His mother seemed unbothered by the reaction and stepped forward, her hands once again reaching for him.

"Ah, you've grown so big and tall, my precious Subaru. Did you come to kill me today?"

Subaru winced and avoided her gaze, trying hard not to let her see just how much it pained him to be in her presence.

His mother didn't seem to mind, instead smiling wide as she stroked his hair. "My precious Subaru, you're a good boy. So why...why does someone whose blood is as filthy as yours exist?"

He could tell by the tone of her voice that the love had dissipated and he bit back a cry as her grip tightened around his tufts of hair. She pulled at his hair until his head lowered down enough for her fists to hit him.

"You filthy thing! You shouldn't exist! You shouldn't exist! Nii-sama! Nii-sama! How dare you!" She screamed.

Subaru quietly took the punches, letting her drill her fists against his head and upper back. She screamed more but he wasn't listening. He had drowned out her words and allowed her to punish him, because it was that man's fault that she was this way. That man had tainted her, ruined her sanity, and had forced her to birth someone as disgusting as Subaru.

"Why won't you love me?!" She cried, finally breaking away from Subaru and throwing herself onto a nearby sofa.

Subaru stood upright and held on to his arm. The pain that drilled against the skin was numb in comparison to the hits that pounded against him from his mother's attack. He watched her cry, her thin form crumpled on the couch, unable to ease her pain.

He loved his mother, but he was the source of her pain. He was quiet as he turned and knocked on the bedroom door. It opened and the vampires bowed their heads.

"I love you, Nii-sama. I love you so much!" She wailed, her voice echoing loudly.

Subaru didn't look at her, and couldn't respond. He stepped out of the room and gripped his arm tighter, drawing blood once more. Even when she repeated her words and rushed towards him he refused to look at her.

The vampires had grabbed her then, preventing her from dragging him back in the room. "I love you Nii-sama! Please come see me soon! Please! I'll miss you!" She cried.

Subaru left as quickly as possible. He loved his mother and refused to blame her for the way she treated him. Because it wasn't her fault. That man had broken her, and Subaru was filthy. And though he believed this with all of his heart, Subaru couldn't help the tears that slid down his cheeks.