"Okay Taetae. It is my goal to get you laid. By Namjoon specifically."
"Jimin!"
"What!"
"No!! He doesn't even like me like that!"
"Lies. I am basically Cupid."
"Jimin!!"
"Taehyung no man will make you live with him and give you a job and buy you shit without liking you in some way. And you both have the same surname it's basically fate."
Taehyung pouted, and rested his chin on his hand, which was on the table.
"So~ we need to go shopping for you. Then you're gonna flirt with him."
"Jimin.. I can't do this. I'm innocent!"
"So what if you're a virgin? You know what sex is."
"How did you know that!"
"I know everything."
"Scary.." Taehyung mumbled. He proceeded to look at the menu to avoid looking at Jimin. He was so sexual. Yea, Namjoon was hot, but he was nervous. He didn't want to be rejected.
"When I'm done with you, Joonie will want to mount you six ways to Sunday."
((Thank my reading on ao3 for that lil tidbit of a quote))
Taehyung dropped his menu, his eyes open wide as he stared at Jimin.
"Don't lie. You want it."
Taehyung didn't speak, too shy, knowing his voice would betray him.
He did want that.
But Namjoon didn't like him like that. He was sure of it.
**
"Wha- no!"
"I'm not taking no for an answer."
"I'm not taking this! I refuse!"
"Taehyung."
"Namjoon."
"Take it."
"I'm not letting you give me a limitless credit card!"
"It's not limited... it has your paycheck on it." Namjoon lied. It was totally limitless. But Taehyung didn't need to know that.
"I told you that you weren't paying me!"
"Taehyung. Come here."
The angry man stomped towards him, crossing his arms.
As soon as he reached Namjoon, he was pulled into his lap, a small screech coming out of his lips.
"Namjoon!!"
"Be quiet, stop yelling. I'm paying you, you do not have a choice in this matter. Now, since you're going shopping with Jimin tonight, go spend some money on yourself."
Taehyung froze, a blush on his face. Last night, Jimin had told Namjoon as he dropped Tae off at home that they were going shopping today, a suggestive look on his face.
"Ugh! You're- you're so- I can't deal with you. You're too much, you big dummy!"
Namjoon chuckled. He knew Taehyung was overwhelmed. It was kind of cute. But he wouldn't stop spoiling him. He didn't even know why he did it, he just felt like he had to.