What have I done ?
What have I done?
What have I fucking done?
I'm a monster now.
I'm a killer.
I disposed of the bodies , my bloody clothes, and the weapons in the dumpster and set the whole thing on fire.
I cleaned up all the blood with the mop the janitor must have left outside.
I'm completely out of my mind. I lost full control. I'm not me anymore.
I sat in front of the dumpster watching it burn. I actually felt terrible. I started to cry watching it all burn.
I sat there until everything was only ashes.
—
I quickly rushed home making sure nobody saw me on the way. When I arrived and entered the house , it was completely empty and silent. I went up to my room .
I changed my clothes and went outside, took my lighter and burnt my bloody jeans and the shirt I was wearing.
After my clothes were nothing more and I put the fire out, I rushed to go take a shower to wash all the blood off.
—
I looked at my phone and I had ten missed calls from mom and dad. Grant and Em' tried to call too.
"Shit."
I quickly called Mom back.
"Hello?" Mom answers.
"Mom! Where are you?"
"I tried to call you like ten times. We're at Mary-Ellen's."
"Really? All of you?"
"Yes. Where are you?"
"At home."
"Really? We couldn't find you anywhere! Your sister couldn't find you after school either! She went home without you. How could you do that without telling her?"
"I'm sorry, Mom."
"We'll be home soon, okay ? Don't go anywhere."
"Okay, Mom, bye."
I hang up and lay on my bed and just stare at the ceiling.
Forgive me. Please forgive me. Please...
—
The door bell rings and I ran downstairs to answer it. After I opened the door, my family was standing before me.
"You're home!" I jump and hug them all.
"That was nothing like you, Avia. Anything wrong?" Mom asks.
"N-not at all."
"Good. I was a little suspicious there for a minute."
They all silently made there way into the house.
I don't know what to do.
I can't hide this forever, can I?
—
Blake and I were watching a movie in the living room, one about pirates that I don't remember the name of. I should though, he has watched it like seventy times.
"Avia! Blake! , dinner time! Your mother made steak tonight!" I hear Dad call from the kitchen.
"Sweet!" Blake screeched bopping up from the couch.
"Coming!" I call back.
We all take our places at the table as Mom hands out plates.
Blake started to scarf down the meat like a mad dog who hasn't ate in days.
"Woah woah woah, Blake, you're going to choke." Mom exclaims as Blake eats a bit slower and normally.
I poke the meat with my fork watching the juices flow out.
"Ew! Is this blood?" Em' says inspecting her dinner.
Dad looks over at her meat to look at the red juices inside it and says, "Most likely."
"Emmaline, you've eaten this stuff before." Mom says.
"I know..."
"Avia, aren't you going to eat your dinner?" Mom asks me.
"Yes, Mom." I say picking more at my steak. I didn't have much of an appetite though.
"Actually, Mom, can I be excused?"
"Why?"
"I want to go to bed."
"It's 7:30."
"I know."
"You may be excused."
"Blake, you can have my dinner."
"Yay!" Blake shouts before taking the meat off my plate.
I stand up from my chair and go up to my room.
—
I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about what I did and the consequences I would get if anyone found out.
I knew I was loosing more control of myself by the day.
I picked up the picture of me and my family that I kept beside my bed on my nightstand.
Back when things were going okay. Back when I was...me.
I looked at myself in the picture. Brown hair, no ugly scars, color to my skin. In control of my own mind.
I'm just a hideous monster now.
I throw the picture across the room and the glass shattered.
I start to cry into my pillow when I hear glass shatter . It was coming from downstairs.
I quickly get up and grabbed a knife from my bag in case it was an intruder and rushed down to see what was going on.
There she was. Again.
"You! Why are you in my house?" I yell holding out the knife.
"You killed them , didn't you, Avia?" Vrai says , slowly approaching me.
"Killed who? And where'd you hear that?"
"My friends. And I didn't hear anything, they just disappeared one day and never came back. I figured you did something."
I looked around too see if anyone else in my family had been woken up. No one. It was my chance.
My chance to end the person that's at fault for all of this. For all of this to finally end.
I lung at Vrai and knock her to the floor . I was now on top of her and had my knife above her heart, my other hand on her neck. "You're right. I did kill them. Just the price to pay for what you've all done to me. Now you'll pay the same price."
"I'm sorry ! I'm sorry! Please don't kill me!"
"You're not sorry , you're only saying that so I'll let you go and then you'll start all over again. You're done, I'm finishing you the easy way. Face it , Vrai, it's over, you loose." then I stabbed her through the heart. Then I brung the knife over my head and plunged it back down into her and started to repeatedly stab her. Her blood splattered all over me and a pool of it formed on the floor beneath her. Her blood splattered all over my body and was dripping down my face. She was done for. I killed another. I killed her.
This time was different from the last, I felt ecstatic and oddly...proud of myself.
I look at her blood dripping from my hands, I don't know why but every time I looked at the scene...I was...happy.
Happy it was over.
I clenched my hair and sat on the floor laughing out of control.
Vrai can't hurt me anymore. She got what she deserved.
A brutal death by the person she hurt.