A Soldier's Guide to Single Parenting

Paying the Bills Part 6

"I'm not gonna say I told you so."

"You just did, Todd." My brother had answered my distress call. I needed to talk to someone my own age, who I could trust to keep a secret and he was the only one who fit the bill. He was there when I got back from dropping Jon at the game. "But he's not gay."

"Then what's the problem?"

"He thinks he is."

"And you think he's making it up?"

"No, he isn't. I mean he's just confused. You know what I mean?" I waved my arms in frustration. The hangover was still affecting my ability to think straight.

"Jeff, I haven't got a clue."

"What I'm trying to say is I think I would've noticed that by now, don't you? If he was gay, I mean."

"How would you have noticed?"

"I dunno, his clothes, his friends. He doesn't talk like one of them."

Todd didn't seem amused. "Jeff, get real. You know what you're saying doesn't make any sense. How many gay people do you actually know?"

"I don't know any. Why would I? They hang around with their own. They don't mix with people like us. And if they did, they would want to keep it quiet. I know I would."

My brother shook his head at me. I didn't like being judged by him all the time. He was only five years younger than me but he often made it seem like much more with his new age thinking.

"You make it sound like some kind of disease," he said. "This is the problem with you."

"HE'S THE FUCKING PROBLEM! NOT ME!"

"Okay, I've heard enough." Todd stood up and started for the door.

Shit. "Todd, no. Wait a minute. I didn't mean to shout at you. I... I'm not myself lately. Please stay? I need you here."

Todd let out a deep breath and slowly turned to face me. I didn't like his politics but I wasn't sure what I would have done without him.

"Thanks. Do you wanna drink?" I did my best to smile. "Maybe a beer or something?"

"No, I'll make myself some coffee," he said and I followed him into the kitchen. "But I don't mind if you have a beer... I'm guessing that's why you keep asking me?"

He was on to me; I knew it. He rarely missed a thing.

"I think I will have a beer. To hell with it, it's not everyday your son tells you he's a fag." I was joking but I did need a drink. Lately, it was the only way I was able to string a sentence together.

"So where is he now?"

"Upstairs in his room, he won't come out."

"I'll see if he'll talk to me. I might be able to repair some of the damage you've done."

Todd was probably the only person who David would have allowed into his room that day and if he was going to talk to anyone then it would be him. They had always been close. My brother was good with kids; he would have made an excellent father.

I thought David had met a girl but it turned out to be his best friend. I shuddered when I thought about how I was fooled into thinking he had a girlfriend. The day I came home early and he wouldn't open the door, was Simon in there? What were they doing? Was Simon responsible for the hickey on his neck? I tried not to think about it but I couldn't get rid of those thoughts.

I switched on the television to take my mind off it and noticed a car parked outside the front. A black Sedan with two men in it watching our house.