Alexander hated "Rainbows and Sunshine Club." The kids there had the attention span of a goldfish, the amusement of a two-year-old, and the behavior problems of a wild pack of hyenas. Except for Alexander. The only reason he was even standing in the doorway was because of his math teacher. He would read in her class, but only because he knew everything in there. Before he came to Butcher High School, he was home schooled by his father, who thought he should learn algebra, geometry, and almost everything else at the age of seven.
"Alex! I'm so glad you came! I thought I'd be all alone, but if you're here, then you'll sit beside me on the carpet! Right?" a brown-haired boy with rosy cheeks and green eyes, Roger, yelled in Alexander's ear.
"Uh, yeah, sure," Alexander gently pushed Roger away. "Next time, though, please do not scream in my ear."
"Oh, oops. Sorry," Roger looked down at his shoes in shame.
"It's fine. Hey, um, let's go find a seat."
"Yeah! I mean... sure, whatever," Roger said coolly. They went to sit on the blue carpet. Why aren't there any chairs to sit in? Alexander thought. They were in high school, did they really have to sit criss-cross on the floor?
"Hello, kids!" a goofy voice announced. From behind a bed sheet, a man came out, dressed in a yellow bear suit.
"Ooh!" some kids muttered. Alexander rolled his eyes, bored. The man in the costume was most likely Mr. Hughes, the English teacher.
"Kids, since this is the first ever Rainbows and Sunshine Club meeting, we'll mainly be establishing the rules," Mr. Hughes informed them. Most of the kids groaned. "No, kids, don't worry! There are only five simple rules you have to follow. The first one is you have to respect one another, got it? Repeat after me, I will respect my fellow Rainbows and Sunshines."
There was no response.
"Come on, guys! I will respect my fellow Rainbows and Sunshines!"
"Um... Does we have to repeat it? I mean, we cans remember it gooder if you writes it on un pizzarrón* or something and hanged it up for the rest of the year or something," a guy named Frank piped up. He didn't have to best [or should I say, goodest] grammar. He had just recently learned English after speaking Spanish for the majority of his life.
"Great idea, Frank!" Mr. Hughes complimented.
"Gracias, Señor Oso.**"
"Ms. Dickerson, could you grab me a board and marker?" Mr. Hughes whispered to Alexander's math teacher behind the curtain.
"Alex, guess what I have!" Roger whispered into his ear, causing Alexander to jump. He had forgotten Roger was there.
"What do you have, Roger?"
He held out his hand. "See it?" Roger asked. There was nothing there.
"Oh, um, yeah! Of course I see that fascinating, er, thing. How did you find that?"
"You don't see it, do you?" Roger asked. He looked crestfallen.
"No, I don't," Alexander admitted. "Sorry, Roger."
"No, it's fine. It's not your fault. I just thought you'd be able to, you know, with your imagination and stuff. Looks like I was wrong," Roger said, balling his open hand into a fist. Alexander was surprised. Roger was usually an excited, happy-go-lucky guy that could make almost anyone smile when they were down in the dumps.
"Okay, guys, time for the rules! Rule number one: IIIII wiiiilll reeesssppeeect aalll oof myyy feellloow Raaaiiinnbbooowss and Suuunshhhhiiiinesss," Mr. Hughes said, stretching out the words as he wrote them.
"Mr. Hughes! There's someone in your classroom!" Mr. Lopez shouted, running into the gym. He stopped short when he saw Mr. Hughes in a bear costume.
"There's someone in my classroom?!" Mr Hughes yelled. He took off his bear head, and some of the kids gasped in shock to see their sweaty English teacher. Mr. Hughes sprints out of the room. A group of kids followed, Alexander and Roger included. They all ran up the stairs and took a right to Mr. Hughes's classroom. The door was broken off its hinges, and the group, except for Alexander and Roger, decided that it would be too dangerous to go in, and left. Alexander stepped inside the dark room. The lights were off, and, since there were no windows, it was pitch black.
"Poor, poor James Hughes. He was such a young man. Only thirty-six when he died a painful death," a female voice said. It sounded like she was right in front of Alexander.
"I am not dead, D--"
"Shh, James. Wouldn't want our visitor to know my identity, now would we?" the girl interrupted. Alexander paled. The girl knew he was there. The door slammed shut, somehow back on its hinges.
"What visit--?" Mr. Hughes's scream cut into his own question. "STOP IT!"
"But it's so fun, James. I like fun," the girl laughed coldly as Mr. Hughes screamed again.
"Quit it!" Alexander yelled. He covered his mouth with his hands. He was so stupid. He had just given away his location. He crawled around the room, trying to not let either person hear him.
"So our visitor decides to speak. Well, more fun for me!" the girl giggled.
"Alexander! Leave this instant! No, please, no. Delilah, please don't!" Mr. Hughes began to whimper like a puppy.
"James, I thought I told you to not say my name," the girl snarled. There was the sound of a sword being unsheathed, and the final scream of Mr. James Hughes, and then it was silent.
"So, your name is Alexander, huh?" the girl, Delilah, asked after a long time.
Alexander gulped. "Yes, but my friends call me Alex."
"Well, it doesn't seem you'll be wanting me as a friend, so I'll just call you, hmm, Stupid."
"I don't think I like that nickname," Alexander said.
"Well, I do, so you're going to, too. So, let's get to know each other. What's your favorite color?"
"Blue," Alexander replied automatically.
"Nice. Mine is dark red, you know, like blood."
"That's...nice."
"What is your favorite food?"
"Um...Pretzels...?"
"So you're not very healthy, then?"
"I'm healthy!" Alexander argued, his voice rising a little.
"Woah, woah, woah. Calm down, Stupid. My favorite food is spaghetti. I like to pretend the noodles are like intestines and the sauce is blood."
"That's great. I'm sure your parents weren't worried about you at all as a kid," Alex said sarcastically.
"They weren't," Delilah replied. "Favorite thing to do?"
"Read."
"Bor-ing! I like to do what I'm doing right now."
"Talking to me?"
"Nope. Guess again."
"Um... Murdering teachers?"
"Closer, but no. Keep guessing."
"I give up. Tell me."
Delilah was right next to his ear. "I like to murder the people that I like."
"Oh, really?" Alexander asked, getting nervous. "You don't like me, do you?"
"Actually, I do," she whispered. Alexander got one quick look at her face before she shoved her knife into his heart.
*a board (blackboard and/or whiteboard)
**Thank you, Mister/Sir Bear.
YOU ARE READING
You Shouldn't Have Come, Stupid
Aventure"Rainbows and Sunshine Club" is an after school program for the kids who are overexcited, have attention problems, and/or did anything but focus during class, and it bores Alexander Wilson to death. It isn't until he learns why he is put in it that...
