Why? [ON HOLD]

2

I kind of changed some parts of chapter 1 so i guess if you want, you could go back and reread?

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Yeosang was in front of the door. He used to dread this moment but after the weird experience that had just happened, he wasn't as worried. He still felt bitter though and Yeosang was still scared that his emotions might go out of control and he might lash out. He could say mean words and lose another friend. The male took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Yeosang!" Seonghwa called out.

"Where were you?" Wooyoung questioned.

"I told Seonghwa, I was going out on a walk," Yeosang said with a poker face.

"Did you forget about the vlive?" Wooyoung asked. "We planned this for weeks and you just forgot?"

"Sorry" Yeosang muttered. He had been so caught up with his problems, he had forgotten. Now everyone was mad at him. Yeosang was starting to regret his decision of staying at the park.

Wooyoung groaned while San pulled him back, telling him to stop bothering Yeosang. Yeosang would be grateful for that, but he wasn't exactly in a good mood. Besides, it was San, and for a stupid reason, Yeosang was mad at him.

"I'm going to bed now, see you in the morning," Yeosang said softly.

"Hey! Wait!" Wooyoung called out. Yeosang scowled and ignored him. The group watched Yeosang as he headed to his room, slamming the door shut.

"What's his problem!? I was just worried!" Wooyoung growled. San slapped the boy's head.

"He's been stressed, he just needs time to relax." San tried to reason.

"But he has been getting distant lately..." Hongjoong said, his voice filled with worry.

"Way too distant," Wooyoung said with a frown. "I thought we were best friends."

Little did they know, Yeosang sitting on the floor, with his back against the door, listening to everything they had been saying. At first, Yeosang snorted at his words.. Wooyoung was the one who was being distant! He was the one who pushed him away! Not Yeosang! Wooyoung was the one who would never spend any time with him. 

He slammed the door and locked it. Sitting on his bed, he started to calm down, forcing his anger to dissolve. Yeosang sighed. He shouldn't have done that. Yeosang went into the dorm, wanting to make everything normal again. He wanted to try to fix things between them. He didn't want to be alone. The feeling of loneliness. The feeling of being abandoned. It scared him. Wooyoung was ignoring him because of San. Yeosang was afraid that Wooyoung would leave him alone. Yeosang's heart would shatter if that did happen. He didn't want to experience the feeling of abandonment again. Maybe that was the reason he was pushing the members away so that he wouldn't feel so much pain when they would leave him behind.

A tear slipped out and rolled down Yeosang's cheeks. He felt tempted to punch something, but he decided against that since that would raise suspicion and make the members look at him weird. Instead, he fell facefirst onto his bed and screamed into his pillow, muffling the pain he was feeling. He was tired of this.

Sometimes, Yeosang wondered what it would be like if he didn't pursue his dream of an idol. If he hadn't become an idol, he wouldn't have felt this left out. He would not be working as hard and stressing over simple things. Yeosang almost regretted becoming an idol, but he stopped himself. He had worked so hard to reach this point in his life. Why was he letting this small issue ruin his hopes and dreams?

He shouldn't be worrying over useless friendships and people that would break his heart! Yeosang knew his skills weren't on par with the others. His singing wasn't brilliant, nor was his dancing, but he was improving! Yeosang tried to get better every day, but it was a slow process.

He just felt like he was just a burden to the group. He couldn't contribute anything unique to the group. He was only there for his visual. That was most likely the only reason he was able to debut. Yeosang didn't want to be only known for his visuals. He wanted to be good at something, but he wasn't talented enough.

Yeosang felt more tears threaten to fall. People would've stopped him and told him that he was wrong, that he was important, but deep down inside, Yeosang knew he was holding the group back from their true potential.

He was practically dead weight. Yeosang was set on improving his skills, so he decided to set an alarm for tomorrow morning and practice.

He ruffled his hair and went over to his bed, pulling the covers over his head. Closing his eyes, he began to realize one thing. What had happened earlier outside could mean a lot of things. One of the options made the boy pale and sat up.

He glanced over at the window and quickly looked outside. There was nothing there. Yeosang sighed in relief but still felt suspicious. There was a chance he might've led a stalker to their dorms. Feeling more comfortable, Yeosang dozed off to a dreamless sleep.

~•~•~•~

Yeosang woke up to the annoying sound of his phone's alarm. He was tempted to turn it off and go back to sleep, but he remembered why he set the alarm in the first place.

Groaning, he got up and changed into the appropriate clothing. Everyone else was still asleep, so Yeosang left a note, telling the others where he was. They wouldn't worry, since they were going to come to the practice room later.

~•~•~•~

It was a long, slow walk, especially if Yeosang didn't have the energy to do anything. He didn't feel hungry so he didn't eat anything this morning. The last time he ate was yesterday night, where they all went to get ice cream. It was early in the morning so Yeosang's only source of energy was from his water and his bag of chips.

Yeosang could see the company building, when he heard footsteps behind him. The male turned around but just saw a young woman with dark brown hair, a black mask, and round glasses. The lady was on her phone not looking at where she was going.

It was early in the morning, the sun wasn't even fully out yet. He kinda felt suspicious of the woman behind him, but he ignored the feeling. He was almost at the building so he wouldn't have to worry too much.

When he was finally at the dance practice room, he chose a random song and listened to it, while stretching. Once his muscles were warmed up and ready, he put on one of his group's songs and started to dance.

Sweat started to form after four songs. He panted and grabbed a towel to wipe away the sweat. Usually, Yeosang would be able to get through more songs without breaking a sweat. Yeosang was worried now.

Had he been getting lazy?

Was he not improving as fast as he thought?

This fueled Yeosang's determination to get better. He quickly sipped his water and continued to dance. This continued until Yeosang glanced at the clock. He had lost track of time while practicing. Lunch should probably be over by the time he was finished. The other members were coming soon, so Yeosang decided he could get food later.

He sat down, panting even harder. He decided to just stay there and relax while waiting for his members to come.

He felt tired, but he was sure he was able to get his energy back before it was time to record.

~•~•~•~

I did it. I finally updated something :O

1300 words