Straight and Rotund

Episode 3

"That fat boy na"
"Yeah? but he was not like this."
"That's what I am saying"
"He used play harmonica right?"
I watched Tiana and Beverly dialogue back and forth about the newscaster.
It's obvious this Beverly wants to ruin me. It's better I best her at whatever she's got up her sleeves, what do I do? I felt taps on my shoulder.
"Bros, make we see"
Of course, Stan is still here some how he seemed to have faded in the background.
We stepped out to the balcony. He had a mischievous smile plastered on his face.
"That your wife cousin na die"
I shook my head and looked away. I wasn't having this conversation with Stan.
"I know you be married man but with that kind hot ass their is no how you..." He paused.
"What's that?"
He had caught on. Someone was moaning. Stanley was down the front porch in no time, and traced the sound to the outpost. He waved me over,
"Wayo,wayo Umaru,"
"jima'i ne mai dadi! Zan mutu"
"za ku sami ni ciki"
Uma was digging the hell out of her, her legs wrapped around his waist. Why would a woman into my house at this time? This is how people got robbed.
We moved few metres away from his window, I want him to see me catch him red-handed.
"And that girl fine.."
"Bros, as you see me so na sleep they catch me" I said.
"Ta comoot, I swear na konji, can't you see that everywhere is sexually charged. He continued. "Na on Friday I go get my salary. But, my landlord no want exercise patience. So I wonder if you will allow me stay till Friday, as soon as I get my salary I am off."
"No problem"
"I know you got my back, and I no forget I still dey owe u." I was about asking him where his clothes were when Umaru's door opened noisily. We watched the fair lady he had just finished digging come out, she walked with a slight limp, and behind her was Uma. He overtook her, unlocked the gate, and let her out. When he turned to go back to his room. He bashed into me.
"Kai Oga, I'm sorry, I know know say you go come out" he knelt down and began apologizing.
"Since when have you been bringing women into this house?"
"Walahi, Oga today na my purst time, abeg Oga, Oga Stand-leen abeg help me beg Oga" I struggled to maintain a straight face, Stand and lean.
"You never carry woman come here before?" Stan asked.
"So why you come do am? Na Shaidan ba?"
"Why you come do am?" The poor guy was scared he might loose his job.
"Oga, abeg no sack me na Madam sister cause am."
What De?

There is no doubt that Beverly has been teasing me but Uma? That's something I can't understand.
"How do you mean?" He simply stared. Obviously regreting his confession now.
"Ha!" Stanley exclamated, crossed his arms over his chest and listened with keen interest.
"What did Beverly do to you?" I was definitely irritated but how I felt, I couldn't place.

"Where are your things? I didn't see you come in with any" I asked Stan.
"Bros, leave that one you no hear wetin your maygaurd talk?"
"Stan, shey we don talk finish?"
"Hmm, yea."
*Cool, me I am off to bed, you fi manage the other room now?" I asked as we walked towards the porch.
"Yes, no whahala, and if I can't I'll drag the mattress out and sleep on the corridor."
""Tomorrow, and guy don't try anything funny o that girl na my in-law."
He smirked.
I walked passed him, and opened the door. I did not see Stan behind. I turned in time to see him head towards the outpost. Stanley!

"Where is Beverly?" Tiana was alone in the sitting room and focused on the TV.
"She has gone to bed." She said and continued watching the news.
I joined her on the couch. "You and Beverly know this guy?"
"Yes, where have you been?"
"I was with Stanley outside." I replied.
I moved closer to her, put my arms around her, she was receptive; she angled and rested her head on my chest.
"it's awful and unimaginable what some people do. A husband tried to rape his wife's cousin. My throat dried up all of a sudden and I began coughing.

"No, that's not what happened, it's a lie..."
"What do you mean? Did you watch the news?" She cut in.
"It has been on air since --- I heard it last night on newsline." I responded. I almost incriminated myself. It became awkward afterwards, I didn't know what she heard on the news, neither did I watch the news last night. It's best I brought up another thing before she asked me the version I heard on newsline.
"Stanley's landlord is disturbing him."
"He has promised the man----Friday, but the man keeps disturbing him, he asked to put up with us until Friday." I concluded.
"Okay, no problem."
I was heading into the bedroom when Beverly appeared in a navy blue top, this one a little longer and bigger than the first. But, that didn't stop me from ogling discreetly at her rotund behind. This girl would put me in trouble if I don't stop looking at her derriere.

I splashed water on my face, took off my top and dropped it on the chair. I had just laid down, when the door pushed open and revealed Beverley standing at the entrance.
"Tay, I want to ask you for a favour." I was more startled at how she sounded than at seeing her. I sat up and watched her walk in, her boobs leading the way and bouncing in slow motion.
" Yea, what's it." I found my vocals and answered. She removed the top I had dropped on the chair, kept it on the bed and made herself comfortable on the seat.
"Tiana and I didn't see any favourable location for the store I want to open." I digested what she was telling me while cautioning my eyes so they don't stare at her protruding nipples and make it obvious to her, she rubbed her nipple and continued.
"I am wondering if you could help me?" How can someone have these kind of big and wide nipples that never stop being hard? She smirked, and I refocused.
"Oh Kay, was that where you and Tiana went?" She smirked. She chested out and opened her legs slowly while slipping her thumb in her mouth.
"Yes, I thought you knew." She moaned, and I felt a stiring in my organ. She flashed me her thighs again, and I saw something black inside.
Cautiously, I shoved my hardening black member down and wrapped it with my legs.
"No, I didn't. Infact, I waited outside for an hour before getting inside."
"Don't tell me you and Tiana are still keeping distances from yourselves? Pardon me for asking." Why is she talking like that? I could pin this girl on this wall, right here and right now and teach her a lesson.
"Where and where would you have in mind to open the store?"
"Tiana suggested Opebi-Ikeja or Yaba." She flashed me again,this girl dey mad I go fvck am o
"But, I am leaning on anywhere on the Island." She rubbed her nipple again. I lost all prudence, stood up with my bulging dixk and walked towards her. Before I got closer she ran out of the room.
I watched her retreating figure disappear. I couldn't sleep; no thanks to my hardened member, then I saw Tiana enter and walk towards me, instead of getting in on her side of the bed, she walked round it and came to stand few inches away from me at my side.
"Sweetie, are you okay?" I asked. She obviously was up with one of mischievous dramas but when she did not answer, and fixed her reddened eyes on me, the atmosphere became sinister, within a split second, she produced and wielded a large knife, raised the knife high above her head, and aimed at my head. I sat up immediately and started pleading with her. She adjusted the angle of her aim, and she brought down the knife.

"Hhaaaaaaaa!" I awoke to a pitch black room, my ear ringing like I had the meniere disease.
"Taye, what is it?"
I could now barely hear over a fading piercing scream. My eyes began to adjust to our dimly lit bedroom, then I felt a hand steadily tapping me. I turned to look at my right.
"Why are you screaming?" Tiana queried.
"Nothing, I was having a nightmare." I responded after my racing heartbeat slowed.
"What was it about?" She asked and sat up.
"I can't really remember but I was on a tree and someone was chopping it down"
"Hmm? that's not good, think we should tell the pastor."
"But, first let's pray." She held my hands and we prayed for a while.
Although, I prayed like I never did but I knew the dream could have been because of my suspicions and last night. After the prayer, I felt sweat gather over my eye brows.
"The heat is too much."
I stood up and opened the window, other houses twinkled with with light bulbs.
"it seems the power outage was only here, let me go and change it."
The moonlight filtering in through the now widely opened window guided my steps through the room but, no further, I almost fell on the bed which was on the floor of the corridor when I hit it. I managed to meander my way without hitting anything else until I got the kitchen where the lamp burned dimly. I raised its light, and carried it to the balcony where I moved the cut-out to the other and the power came on.

I didn't see Stan in the sitting room nor on the bed that laid at the corridor. I almost headed into my room but curiosity. Curiosity had a hold on me. I looked towards Beverly's room, it was ajar. I walked closer but could not muster enough courage to push open the door. What would I say I was doing here? If Tiana catches me?
I swear I heard a voice cry out from within the room.
In that moment, I promised myself that I would only but take one look and afterwards head back to my room. I squeezed my head through to see no one else but Beverly covered with a wrapper. I made to go but heard a squashy sound, I turned back, and observed her better. Something moved around her crotch region underneath the wrapper. I traced the movement to her arm, what the hell is she doing? I swallowed hard, edged closer, my heartbeat and the squashy sound drained all other sounds.
"Tay, what are you doing here?" My heart raced and then did a backfleet, I turned to see Stan standing and peeping at me through the door. I almost fainted with fright, I thought it was Tiana. I think I managed to leave the room without alerting Beverly.
"You be bad guy"
"Ssh! my wife dey sleep, stop talking"
"This is what you have been doing since? Bad man"
"Stop na." I had started walking towards my room.
"I go stop if you promise say you go gist me"
"There is nothing to gist"
"No whahala, me I don already know wetin they happen"
"What?" I retraced my steps.
"You think Uma no tell..."
"Taye, I thought you just wanted to change the light. Tiana called.