Straight and Rotund

Episode 5

I never met nor heard of woman like Beverly, mind you this tale happened in the 90s, just a handful of women as at that time could tell their man how they liked it. Women like Tiana were rare not just by the numbers but by mentality. The idea that the man should be the pleased has been sown deeply in them and thus had brought forth fruits of unhealthy passiveness.
Beverly was the exact opposite of what a real man was in my own opinion. She was in control, and dictated the pace of everything. I believe that all she did was to psycho-analyse me. Was I becoming her bitch?

I did not see Tiana until past dinner when she walked in to the room. She sat in the chair which by the bed and watched me for a while. Her unwavering gaze had increased my guilt-trip.

"Tiana, I'm sorry about earlier"
"What was she like?" She inquired.
"Who?"
"You have never been like that before." She cooed tearfully.
"You weren't making love to me"
"I wasn't making love to you" I cut in. I didn't want this to be prolonged, I was nothing short of an animal and that I am sure of, but, the thought that She-that-must-not-be-named; the architect of all this is probably watching TV or something, while I am left to deal with the aftermath of her seduction.
"You weren't making love"
I had nothing to say, so I stood up, paced around the room, a few glances at the door proved that it offered an immediate best solution. I walked out the door. I needed a bloody cigarette, though I had never smoked.
Beverly wasn't in the sitting room while I exited the house but she was sitting at the front porch. I contemplated walking past her to go purchase the cigarette or turning back. But, before deciding she turned, and offered me the stick of cigarette she was smoking. I never knew she smoked. How did she know what was on my mind?
"Taye, take a drag?" She smirked at me and exhaled smoke through her nostrils.
That was it, I turned back. This winch don dey fvck with my brain.

The next morning, I awoke with my heart in my mouth and Tiana in the bathroom. While I prepared to leave for work, Tiana parked her small traveling bag. Soon, it would be just me and Beverly in this house, this recurring thought probably woke me. I apologized to Tiana again, hoped and begged her to stayed back, but without giving any good reasons why she should cancel her trip, we drove out together; Tiana to her parents and I to work.

I quickly immersed myself into work, and in no time the 'Beverly thought' faded. Today, we pitch for the Brazilian beverage.

"How is Beverley?" The name I was already forgetting.
"What?" I scowled defiantly.
"I was asking after Beverly." She moved into my office. I dropped my pen on the table and watched her with indignation.
"Is not that her name? Mr. I am married." She said, put her hand on my table and stared into my eyes.

"Ruby, would you please stop." She smiled and pulled one of the two chairs before me across my table. I don't need this small girl's wahala.
"Beverly is fine and please be mindful of what you say. Anyone eavesdropping could probably connect dots and start believing nonsense."
"Okay, fine." I waited for her to push the chair back in place and leave.
"Cool, thank you." My voice betrayed the urgency with which I would love her to exit my office.
"But, on a condition." She sat comfortably in the chair, crossed her legs rather slowly that I saw deep into her thighs. She smiled knowingly and pulled a strand of her Jerry curls.

"Taye, are you ready?" Kofi breezed in and called out.
"It's time for business, my man!" He shook the briefcase he carried.
"Hi, Ruby?"
"I'm fine, Goodmorning."
"Your father's been asking for you." She stood up and began to walk out.
"I will tell you my conditions after, married man." She giggled and stepped out the door.
Kofi's face betrayed his shock at what Ruby had said.

"What's up man?" He asked with a curious undertone. He scrutinized me like he had handed me a gift and was waiting to see my reaction when I unbox it.
"You and chairman pikin." I ignored him and packed up the papers I had been going through, arranged them in the office file I'd be taking with me.
"What was that about?" I grabbed his briefcase, unlocked it, put the file inside. I nodded towards the door so he'd step out but he remained standing and grinning.
"Let that go." I brushed past him.
We stepped out and I locked the door.
"What is about this married man thing? He giggled, She catch you on top...?I cut him off.
"Kofi, abeg leave this thing." I said brusquely.
We climbed down the stairs in total silence each person to his thought, that peace didn't last, it was broken by Ruby's hysterically laughter when we reached the parking area to board the company bus. It seemed I cracked silent jokes, even Kofi couldn't help chuckling too. I walked briskly and boarded the bus.

The day did not turn out as beautiful as I had imagined. The pitch went great, they loved the concept we had brought to table but they kept talking about slashing the budget in half, and that was not going to work.

We got back to the office few minutes past three. I raced up the stairs dumped the file I took with me. In a few minutes, I was downstairs and sitting at the same table in the refectory with Kofi and Ocheuwa. They traded small talks while we ate. I was obviously more occupied with my thoughts; I paid their discuss no attentions, my problem now is that in few hours from now I would be at home, home alone with Beverly. Even as I thought of her my heart skipped two beats.
"Are you running from her?" I looked up to see them looking at me.
"No, why" I replied immediately.
Now they looked with askance.
"Why?" Kofi giggled.
"What are you saying?" Ocheuwa asked quizzically.
"Nothing, forget I said anything"
Kofi chuckled and mouthed Ruby and winked unwittingly to Ocheuwa.
They continued talking now I listened they had been talking about Ocheuwa's new neighbor who's been coming to his apartment to watch movies.
I finished my meal, washed my hand, then headed upstairs. I had not seen Ruby since I got been back, and for that I was grateful. Soon, it was 5 o' clock, it was time to become anxious, my palms became sweaty, and my bowels rumbling. When I was done using the lavatory. I was no longer skeptical and unwilling to go home for I had decided to go by my cousin's, the issue there is I won't know if he is around or not. Since he had no phone. My decision to go to his was perfect. Frankly, I had lost my confidence and I couldn't mutter the strength to regain it; the battle ahead would most certainly certify me a bitch for hot and hot Beverly.

I arrived Surulere in good time for a Friday the road was pretty free of the usual heavy traffic. I parked my car behind a Vesper motorcycle, crossed the road and entered the compound the same time two other people did. They walked down to the back, took a left and disappeared. I knocked at Stan's door which was the second room to the right on the line of apartments that ran down along the fence. There wasn't no answer I turned to leave but the brouhaha ringing from the backyard led me past Stan's door. What greeted my sight was unbelievable.
I had tried stretching my neck to see over their heads and know what the cause of the noise was. I made out one or two persons covered in blue wrapper lying on the ground. I gave up trying.
"Oga, sorry what's going on?" I asked the bearded, lanky man in blue coat standing next to me.
"Ha! You no see am?" He asked rudely like I was distracting him from watching Sholay. It wasn't his fault that I wasn't tall enough to see above them and see what was on the ground that they were staring and running commentaries on.
I turned to the leave, the crowd had increased since I got there. While I reluctantly forced my way through them to head home, I picked words like
"....na my neighbor....."
".....na so he they do, you know...."
".....Magun bad....."
"....else if not Uncle Stanley...."
What the hell is going on? Now, I make sense of what I had seen. I made a hard U-turn and forced my way to the front.
There on the floor she laid with her legs widely spread under Stan who was looking the other way, while she had her left palm over her face.
"Ana!" I sreamed. She adjusted to see who called. As I approached the centre, she peeked at me between her fingers, then took off her hand off her face, and began weeping, I simply stood and watch tears run down her face.
"I am sorry." She cried. "Honey, help me." She begged.