Letters to you

3 years later

(An- subtle mentions of r**e/abuse)

/3 years later/

3 years.
It feels like its only been one minute but forever all at the same time.
3 years ago I gave everything I had to you and you basically threw it all away.
And for what?
You took pleasure in my pain.
You loved seeing me weak and bleeding.
So unawre of the abuse taking part in every single fucking aspect of our relationship.
You lied to me and manipulated me and left me to feel like I was the goddamn antagonist!
Like i was a horriabe person because i was so fucking depressed all the time.
I'm sorry, I have a mental illness, but, at least im not a sadistic bitch.
You fed off of my tears.
It honestly felt as though every time i cried you saw it as an opportunity to make it about you.
I wasn't allowed to have bad days or moments. You just wanted an obedient little slut.
I was treated like a fucking animal.
But damn i thought it was love.
Because you led me to believe I was the reason you were unhappy.
Maybe perhaps you were unhappy because of how truly disgusting your family dynamic is.
I mean you did openly fuck your own stepdad, thats a bit messed up bro.
I had never seen a full sized adult dick before i met nathan. It wasn't enough that you liked that i thought he was a perv and made me uncomfortable.
No, you had to have him attempt to seduce the both of us.
And it worked.
Those memories haunt my fucking dreams.
It's been 3 years since I saw you.
the first 2 years were the most painful, and i thought about ending it all.
But I realized you never loved me.
i think i'm okay now.
I don't need your "love"
I don't crave your attention.
Yea you'll probably live in my head forever,
But at last I know,
There is a me without you and ya know what?
I am a badass motherfucker.
And it's a shame you thought you could break me, because I rose up even higher.