Belladonna (Tom Holland)

Fourteen

Tom led me to his office, closing the door behind me. Somehow it seemed much brighter than before, like the office wasn't such a bad place. Maybe it was because the sun was shining in a particularly beautiful way or my change in character transformed the aura of this room. I didn't sit down, however, so my character didn't change that much. Instead, I waited for him to be in front of me so I could have that sense of security.

    Rather than sitting on the desk, he sat behind it. He opened a drawer and pulled out a pack of cigars. He slid one out from the plastic wrapping and placed the end on his mouth. "You scared me there for a while," he said as he shuffled around his pockets for a lighter, "Your body was in so much shock I thought you were gonna slip into a coma." "I did though, didn't I?" I didn't take my eyes off the cigar, which was now alive with smoke. The sickly sweet aroma was inching toward me and I couldn't help but let a flood of memories pass through me, both good and bad.

    "Technically you did," he admitted, "But I'm speaking more along the lines of weeks or months on life support. I didn't want to deal with a semi-dead body for longer than I have to." "Right, because you prefer them fully dead," I said dryly and Tom grinned and let out a puff of smoke. "Most of the time, but I wanted you alive." "Should I be honored or worried?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest, "I never know with you anymore." "Nor I with you," he reciprocated, "Which is why I brought you in here."

    Though the cigar was not even close to being an ember, Tom put it out and waved the smoke away. He then proceeded to lean in, his eyes boring into mine. There was something off about him, but I couldn't place it. Usually when I was around him, there was a sense of danger, of impending doom. But as I sat in front of him, I felt welcome? The only bad energy between the two of us was a sudden wall of awkwardness. I didn't know how to be myself around him, and I had no idea what to say. For all I know, he was a stranger to me.

    "What do you want from me?" Tom asked, the question taking me by surprise. I was expecting some sort of berating comment or a threat. In my mind, my good friend the Bowie knife was already sitting on the desk, eager to say hello. However, there was none of that. Just Tom and his weird question. "What do you mean? What do I want from you? How am I supposed to answer that?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowed. "I mean," he began, "what do you want? Do you want to be placed back in the Program? Do you want to stay here with me? Do you want to be left alone? What can I do to make you happy?"

    His response was loaded and my thoughts wandered to places they shouldn't have. Of course I wanted to stay with him, there was nothing else I wanted at that moment. I wanted to wake up in the morning to him stroking my cheek and whispering, "Good morning." I wanted to make him breakfast while he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck. I wanted to be happy with him.

    But that was what I wanted, not him. He most likely held none of the same affections as I did. That night at Wonderland had probably slipped his mind, but it ran rampant in mine. There was probably a point in our limited time together where he wanted to fuck me, but that was it. He only saw me as a piece of meat, and not for the person underneath. Granted, I didn't give him a lot of person, but if he reciprocated the feelings, I could give him the rest of me.

    Logically, it was best for me to say I wanted to be left alone. Lorenzo was dead and the Biancattis were in a period of instability. If Tom left me alone, I would be able to run away and start my life over again far from any organization. I could use my real name without the fear of being murdered. I could get a job that was suitable for my skill set, and I could even fall in love again. It was my safest choice and one I would've wanted just days ago, but why did it feel so wrong?

    "I expected this to be an easy decision for you, princess," Tom said amusedly, "Considering you threatened to kill yourself in order to leave the first time." "Yeah but I-" I about spat before I caught myself.  Yeah, but I didn't realize I loved you then, I had almost said to him. Tom cocked an eyebrow, "But what?" I waved it off, "But nothing. The situation's changed, I almost died at the hands of Lorenzo. I'm just weighing my options." "But Lorenzo's gone, sweetheart. You're practically free," Tom reassured.

    "Funny, it seems like you're advocating for me to rid myself of you," I noted. Tom scoffed, "Your wording is hilarious. I'd be ridding myself of you. I wouldn't have to put up with your bullshit anymore. No more Dante family drama? That's a wet dream in the making!" "Excuse me?" my eyes widened in disbelief, "You're the one that fucking kidnapped me!"

    He shrugged nonchalantly, pissing me off even more, "That was before I knew what you were like. I knew you weren't going to be easy, but goddamn, Bella. All the shit you put me through? I-" "Shit I put you through?! You know what you put me through, mister?! You fucking stabbed my leg! You ruined my mobility for the rest of my life! You set me out into a world I had no business being in with the looming threat of death hanging over my head, and when I finally had the chance to escape from it all you fucking showed up again and the man I once called family tried to kill me! I think I went through more shit than you, Tom!" It was when I was done spewing vitriol that I realized I had stood up from the chair. I was leaning on the desk, my knuckles red from how hard I was gripping it.

    However, instead of yelling right back at me, waving a gun in my face, or straight up killing me, he remained calm. He leant back in the chair and propped his feet on the desk, right ankle crossing over the left. "So make your choice then, Bella," he said, "I'm not making it up for you this time. There's no gun in your head. There's nothing." "What about that fucking chip you put in my body? The one that recorded all the audio? Can't you kill me from that?" I asked, calming down with each breath I took. Once again, Tom shrugged, "That was just a white lie I told you in order to behave. Sorry sweetheart, I'm not killing you just because you can't make up your mind."

    "I'm leaving," I stated, "You're absolutely right. There's no reason for me to be here." Tom nodded his head, which somehow caused a sharp stab to my heart. Maybe everything he had said or gestured towards me was enhanced by my feelings for him. Maybe I just made him up in my head, and the man who sat before me never cared in the first place. "Okay, I shall bother you no more then. Do you plan to stay at your apartment, or are you leaving the city?"

    Now it was my turn to shrug, "All I know is that I can't stay here with you. I'll let you know my future plans." I couldn't meet his eyes when I answered, I felt so hurt, so betrayed. There was a welling in my throat and I knew that I needed to leave his office in order to cry. God, I needed to cry. I hadn't done so in so long that it would feel like heaven just to let all my emotions loose. "You have my number," Tom said and then proceeded to turn around in his chair so that his back was facing me, "You can leave now."

    I stood there for a moment's silence, staring at the back of the chair. There was something in me that just wanted to crawl on the desk, turn the chair around, and kiss him, but it was just a mere thought. He had seen enough of me, he didn't need to watch me leave. Sighing, I turned from the desk and made my way to the door. I couldn't help but think I made the wrong decision. Correction, I know I made the wrong decision. I made it in a pique of anger, but I couldn't take my words back now. I couldn't just walk back, tell him I'm sorry and beg to stay, he would eat me alive.

    Opening the door, I looked out into the hallway, but only for a brief glimpse. Suddenly the door was forced shut and a hand gripped my shoulder, turning me around. Tom was practically on top of me and I wondered how the fuck he got from the desk to the door so fast and so quietly. My back was pinned against the door and his chest was pressed against mine, his breaths rising and falling along with mine. His hand lifted off of my shoulder and cupped my cheek, and I leaned into it almost instinctively. "You're not going anywhere," his voice was soft and gentle, like he was begging more than he was commanding. His eyes met mine, as if they were waiting for my consent. Without saying anything, I nodded and almost immediately his lips connected with mine in a much overdue kiss.

Only 2 chapters left yas. Ngl I'm ready for this be done because I've been writing it for so long and I've went through so many different drafts and plots of this that the second it's finished i might cry.

Also how's everyone's quarantine going? I've just been listening to a shit ton of music and rereading Harry Potter so mine hasn't been terrible, but then i also don't go outside that often lol.

Don't forget to vote, comment, that good stuff.

~Not edited~