"don't say you love me like that; like you're saying goodbye."
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in which yoongi and taehyung are ex-lovers who meet once again in tokyo, spending one last night together, learning how to both love and let go.
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a taegi short story; @springbts...
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Afterwards it's quiet for a few minutes.
The air is now hanging thick and drowsy, harsh breathing dulling down to soft inhales. Yoongi and Taehyung don't speak or touch; exhausted, all they do is roll over to lie back, face the ceiling. All talk of past present future is put on hold for now.
It's weird how strangely calm Yoongi feels, even as his body roars like a thunder - his head a little dizzy, limbs a bit like jelly, blood still rushing like racing rivers. Maybe it's because he'd poured his urgency, his desperation, out into their language of bodies. Maybe he'd burned it all out right up, exchanged it for craving touches trailing places they shouldn't go, wrecked breaths cut shorter and shorter.
Whatever it is, whether the storm had settled or merely drew back over the horizon, Yoongi's a little calmer now, feels like the blue cast of storms when it stops pouring down but hasn't receded yet. He's more at ease, and there's heaviness slipping in between his bones, weighing him down to the mattress like an anchor. Beside him Taehyung is quiet, only laboured breaths escaping his lips an indication the boy hadn't gone to sleep.
Yoongi rolls over to face Taehyung, only to find him already staring back at him.
The sadness in Taehyung's eyes feels like the end of the line. He's looking at Yoongi wistfully, and Yoongi gets the feeling of things settling back down to the bottom of the box. It makes Yoongi want to curl into himself just so he won't have to feel Taehyung's gaze on him, but he doesn't.
Yoongi watches as Taehyung's eyes study the slope of Yoongi's nose, then the little furrow between his eyebrows, then his jaw, his lips, his collarbones. It feels intimate in a way Yoongi can't describe, and his breath hitches in his throat when Taehyung's gaze finally drifts up to meet Yoongi's own.
It hits Yoongi like a strike in his gut, knocks all air out of him. He sees it clearly now, right there in the way Taehyung is staring at Yoongi like he's already lost him.
Taehyung is leaving.
Yoongi would have to let go.
A tangle works its way into a lump, and Yoongi swallows. He thought he'd emptied out all the possible sadness in his body but somehow there's new tears leaking out of his eyes, a fresh pain slicing at his chest.
"You're going to leave, aren't you?" Yoongi asks quietly. It's not a question anymore. It sounds more like resignation.
Taehyung could only look back, gentle sadness in the way he stays quiet. You know what my answer is.
