Lovers in Tokyo | taegi

14

14. EASY, JUST LIKE THAT

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Yet time refuses to stop, even for the desperate.

So Yoongi turns his body slow, all of his weight resting at the tip of his elbow, digging into his mattress to lay on one side.

Taehyung shifts to adjust, his arm still draping loose around Yoongi's body. He watches Yoongi with so much gentleness it burns straight through Yoongi's chest.

Taehyung's eyelashes bat up, down, slightly sleepy as he waits for Yoongi's words to come. Yoongi wants to run the tip of his finger across those eyelashes to see if they feel as soft as they look, dainty dainty dainty.

At the same time, though, Yoongi wants to look away. He thinks he can't possibly bear the full brunt of Taehyung's stare should he start talking, because he was about to breach a line, trip over a wire, slam an invisible door open between them, and if he does bring up their past, then there would be no turning back, no receding or covering up their words with woolen excuses to retreat over to the safer side of conversations.

But maybe it's time to start being a little less safe; maybe it's time for that leap off the cliff, that accidental grazing of shoulders becoming much more.

"Those songs earlier," Yoongi starts, picking his words slow, and he's never been more aware in his entire life than he is now, still staring into Taehyung's eyes, "I...I wrote them all for you."

Taehyung's throat dips up and down, and he looks a little pained, as if he's withholding something.

"Earlier, too, when I- um, when I told you just how scared I was today, I wasn't actually telling the truth. I mean, I- yes, you did help me today. More than you know. But that's- that's not just it." Yoongi's voice is higher than a whisper but lower than it usually is. A bit tremulous, filled with vulnerability. "I think, honestly...I think you've always had an influence on me. I think, even after we broke up...I still carried you with me, still- kind of, just...you still stayed with me, even after you left."

The words sound stilted, a little too soft. They feel like long-held secrets, rusty from disuse - an old record player in a dust-covered attic, brought out to sing once again.

Taehyung's face softens, impossibly gentle. Yoongi thinks the edges of his smile look sad.

But still Yoongi continues, reaching up to where Taehyung's hand softly wraps around the peak of Yoongi's hip, and with which Yoongi slots his own calloused fingers to hold firm. "Do you, uh...do you remember that day where it snowed, and we couldn't go out to eat? So then - then you came over to my dorm instead - we haven't moved in together yet. Very early stages still, I think. And you cooked us soup, 'was pumpkin or something like that?"

Taehyung's smile blushes red, his eyelids lowering halfway. He nods, tightening his grip on Yoongi's waist. "Yeah. Can't believe you remembered, but yeah. It was pumpkin soup, I made it 'cause you wanted something warm. It was really cold out, I remember." His thumb runs slow circles on Yoongi's hip, lazy touches that blaze right through the sheets covering Yoongi's skin. "Oh, but then I had to re-heat it with chicken! 'Cause you complained about it being a veggie soup and what an atrocity it is, to eat something without meat in it."