Mind Games: An Exquisite Agony (Season 2, Ep 2)

Part 2

Twenty-five minutes later, I stepped out of my dressing room in the sparkling red gown and climbed the stairs toward the lobby. As I slipped through the door, the ambient noise crushed against me. Being on stage, where the theatre separated me from the audience was easy. It was when the adoring fans wanted to get up close and personal things became more difficult.

I closed my eyes and imagined the opening cords from my favorite ballet. Then with a confidence which I did not internalize, I stepped into the room. The high low nature of the dress swung gracefully with each step and I grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing tray.

"Ah, there you are," Jacque said as I walked across the room. "I was telling these men how wonderful it is to partner with you and if you needed me, I could be available for you private sessions."

"Thank you, Jacque. You make me look good," I said looking up at him.

"I believe it is you who makes Jacque look good," Dr. McNally said as he turned toward me.

The smile on my face froze into place as reality and fantasy collided in full force.

"No offense to you, Jacque. You are an amazing dancer. I've a natural bias and I fear it is showing," he said as he turned toward Jacque and gave him a knowing nod.

"None taken," Jacque said as he returned the gesture. "I'll leave you two talk."

He looked at me with a slight tilt of his head and I tried to toss him a look demanding that he not leave me in this situation. The slightest lift of his shoulders told me I was on my own as he turned and disappeared into the crowd.

"You danced beautifully tonight," Dr. McNally said as he turned toward me.

"Um... thank you. I didn't realize you would be at this performance."

"Would it have made a difference if you'd known?"

I shook my head, but I knew the words would contradict the gesture.

"Yes. I would have been far more nervous," I admitted without looking up at him.

"A reasonable reaction based on our last interaction."

I nodded.

"That's one way to put it."

An awkward silence floated between us and I shifted my weight between my feet while polishing off the last bit of champagne in my glass.

"Ask the question, Lexus," he stated, a hint of sternness underlining his words.

"No. The answer is obvious."

"Careful what you presume," he said, his voice right above a whisper and raised a hand to wave someone over without taking his eyes off of me.

"No one else has a reason to sponsor me," I countered.

"I see the stubbornness and petulance is as bright as ever, two six eight," he said with a smile as another man approached.

"Survival requires it."

"It appears to me your are thriving more than surviving," the man said as he approached us.

My head snapped in his direction. He was impeccably turned out in a perfectly tailored tuxedo. The hint of a five o'clock shadow traced across his jawline and upper lip. Everything in me was drawn to reach out and touch it, as I gripped the glass in my hand.

"I've been very fortunate this year," I said as I tried to control the shakiness of my words.

"Yes. Your patron is very generous from what I've been told and you've improved under the private tutelage."

I nodded, unable to take my eyes off of him. There was something magnetic in the air.

"Dr. McNally persuaded me to come to tonight's performance. I admit you were stunning, and your technique is superb, but there's always room for improvement."

His words were like the smack of an iron fist wrapped in velvet.

"An artist who seeks perfection will always fail. For if we find perfection what will the artist have to seek?" I said.

"Exquisite," he replied, the slightest smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"Quite," Dr. McNally agreed. "But she's yet unformed."

"Is it not the clay which the artists wishes to transform into their ideal of beauty. Then destroy it to transform it anew?" the man asked.

Dr. McNally chuckled.

"Exactly," I whispered, captivated by his words.

Around us time stood still and I didn't want the moment to end. Each heartbeat was its own infinite eternity and there was a peace in it I'd longed for but never found.

"We won't keep you any longer. I know you've had a long day and tomorrow will be more of the same," Dr. McNally was saying somewhere in the distance.

"Uh-huh," I replied.

The man smiled at me.

"Would you like a ride home, Lexus?" he asked.

Without thought, I nodded.

"Then go gather your things and come straight back here," he said.

"Yes, Sir," the words slipped out unbidden as I turned toward the door I'd entered and headed back to my dressing room.