Silent Hearts~(bakudeku)

heartache -chapter two

Izuku' s P. O. V.~
I rushed to the bathroom and headed towards the nearest stall. Upon entering the stall all the tears I held back flowed out with what seemed to be no end to. I clenched my t-shirt and covered my mouth to keep quiet so no one would hear...

It was painful. If only this pain was caused by an injury of some sort and not by these feelings...I should be used to this pain. Heck, I should have already erased these feelings a long time ago if I had knew what was good for me. But I couldn't..they never went away..they stuck to me like glue. Something was and is wrong with me. How did I fall for him? Did some part of me just liked the way he treated me? No..thats not it. I absolutely hated it when he insulted me and pushed me around. I despised how rude he was and how he seemed to think that he was the king of the world..so why did I still fall in love with him? I hated all those qualities which were obviously most of his personality. There was rarely any nice ones. So why despite knowing that, did these feeling come..was it because he was good looking? Maybe it was how strong he was..or, maybe it was because of how eager he was to become a hero, the number one hero. Even though he is rude and treats others like garbage he still tries his best to be stronger with that thought of being the number one hero in mind..how determined he was and how he was going to make it possible even if others look down on him. Yeah, I think that was why...I somehow saw that side of him even when he was beating me up. Even when he was yelling at me and others and throwing insults and snarty replies...
I smile sadly to myself, and start chuckling painfully. I'm yet again trying to reason with myself. No matter how hard it is for me, I'll still make it seem reasonable. I'll make it seem like everything is fine...that nothing is wrong with me. That it's okay when everytime I see him my heart beats 3x faster feeling like a sharp knife attacking me from within...

It's fine. It's okay, I just need to convince myself a little more...

I drop down to do floor clenching harder at my shirt as I start coughing relentlessly. I try grabbing some napkins at the top of the sink in hopes of silencing the sounds of my coughing, but the pain of each cough made my arms weak and unable to reach for it. I sigh and try my best to hold it in. I can't make the others worry for me more than they already do. I especially cant worry Allmight...he has too much on his hands.
I must deal with whatever this is....perhaps it's the weather or maybe something I'm eating...no it cant be, its summer and I've been eating what I always do...I'll find out sooner or later, maybe I'll talk to my doctor.

All I know is that...

It hurts.

*A/N- ahahha hey guys, so I forgot I made this story for like a whole year. I'm so so sorry. Anyways I have more time now so I'll try to update more often. I'll also be working on another story soooooo yeee