Yuragwyn: Ours

---Chapter 18

∞Kaitra∞

                The last lump of dirt is smoothed over and the work is done.  Sun glistens between the tips of the mountains, reflecting off the beads of sweat on every brow.  Hiltraud withdraws his arm, and where he held me is now cold without his strong, comforting heat.  Honorable Urien guides me back to camp before Traugott can get up to speak with me.  I glance over my shoulder at his flustered and frustrated face, still acquainting myself with the sight of his face and the now ghostly memory it holds.  I wonder if he feels grateful for my sacrifice to come back and send rescue when I could have easily and much more readily stayed right where I was and where I want to return, once I can wash my hands of this sticky business of saving a country.   I wonder if Calanthe ever found it in her sweet heart to forgive him, especially after Briallen’s death. 

                “Lady Kaitra, a word in my tent please,” Honorable Urien asks lowly. 

                I nod and follow him through the opening and to one of the small travel chairs on the grass. 

                “Now, Lady Kaitra,” he begins, clearing his throat.  “I am in no position to tell you what to do, but I highly discourage you from going with Traugott to Cordina.  As, ah, Hiltraud said earlier, the people won’t follow a soft-stomached leader.  You can’t desert them now; they’ll see you as a fair weather soldier.  To stick it out is to win their respect and this war for the whole country.”

                I take in his words and weigh my options.  But would Lord Cadfael and Lady Carys understand? 

                Hiltraud sticks his head in and motions to Traugott, who stands awkwardly by as if suddenly self-conscious and paralyzingly shy. 

                I rise from my seat and stride out of the tent, motioning for him to follow me, which he does, with large clomping footsteps.  Many stop and watch as we walk by, but I hold up my head and stay in front as we make our way down to the far left side of the small creek, away from all those washing up closer to camp. 

                I take a seat on a rather large rock, and he finds one nearby, lowers himself down upon it, and turns to face me.  “Hello again, Lady Kaitra.” 

                I blush at his mention of my title and the soft tone of his voice and wonder why I chose a spot so secluded.  “Kaitra, please.  We’ve waded past formalities well enough to leave it be in situations such as this.”  I tuck my flyaways behind my ear.  “I trust Calanthe is well?  Lord Cadfael and Lady Carys?”

                “Fine and well, all,” he answers.  “All missing you.”

                Pebbles pop up from under my boot as I scrape it against the ground.  “Well, they shall have to miss me a rather bit longer.  I simply can’t go with you.”

                “Kaitra, we can take someone else with us if it’s me you’re afraid of.”

                “That’s not it,” I reply, forcing a laugh.  “I’m needed here.  Traugott, remember the last thing you said to me before I left?  Well if I am to try to do what all of you expect of me and fulfill the role of this Daughter of Yuragwyn then I have to be around to lead the people to their prosperity.  Honorable Urien is in no condition to lead alone, and I believe Hiltraud sees his role as more a confidant and advice giver than true leader.  Besides, I brought Eglantine out here.  I put this whole army in danger, the whole country.  I can’t traipse off and shrug my shoulders and leave them to pick up the pieces.”

                “If they lose you it doesn’t matter how well protected they were.  Surely you can understand staying safe is your best contribution to the effort.”

                “So you doubt my skills then, is it?  My only purpose is that of a dainty figurehead in soft dresses?” I return curtly. 

                He studies me, “You can’t make me believe you don’t want that deep within yourself.  Come with me.  I can take all the blame, if you so desire.  I’ve grown used to being an unfortunate scapegoat, especially in the house of Honorable Urien.  For my sake, come.”

                “I see your true meaning for coming now,” I bite.  “I am to come for you?  What trophy do you win by keeping me always near you?” 

                “No, Kaitra, you don’t understand,” he amends.  “I just want you safe with your family and Calanthe in Cordina.”

                “You have no power to make me.”

                “Your father sent me.”

                “That man is not my father.”

                Even as the words leave my mouth, I know in my heart I have spoken a falsehood.  I can’t pretend any longer to be Rob and Adalynn’s little girl. 

                But instead of arguing, Traugott only stands, looks sadly towards me, and leaves me by the little brook in the mountains. 

₰Traugott₰

                Hiltraud’s eyes are hard as I approach him alone, “Where is she?”

                “She refused to come with me, so I left her by the stream.   I suppose I shall make my way back to Cordina.”

                “That might be best,” he answers, arms crossed.

                “Hiltraud, please.  Surely you don’t believe I had a hand in Briallen’s death?  I did all I could to keep them both safe.” 

                “I know, Traugott.  Tensions are high now.  You are safer in Cordina than here, for more reasons than the battle at hand.”  He leans in closer.  “Tell Lord Cadfael that Eglantine mentioned previously a reward for her murder of Lady Kaitra.  She might have found information among us of more importance.  I know not what she knows, but she is lithe and quick, and she can easily sneak into places and eavesdrop.  Briallen’s death, your position in the eyes of many, and Master Hulderic’s letter to Honorable Urien are all likely bits.”

                “Keep Kaitra safe, please,” I whisper. 

                “On my own life.”

                We clasp forearms, and I trade my pegasus for a fresh one to return to Cordina.

//•••//•••///•••\\\•••\\•••\\

                With the sunset I land gently in a knoll, tether my pegasus with a long rope, and nestle in for a bit of rest. 

                Before dawn though, a violent shaking rouses me, and I reach for my sword.  The inky blackness holds few stars, and suddenly every stalk of grass forms a soldier’s stature in my mind. 

“No, Traugott!” 

A Yuragwynian soldier kneels beside me, sweaty, and with a few bits of crusted blood at her temple.  “I’ve just come straightaway from Rite.  Agleton has declared war against us.”