Pages Between Us

Until We Speak Again

James

Cher,

The countdown has begun. I'll be home free in 90 days and five hours, but whose keeping track? It's so close yet so far away. I'm not so worried about what I'm going to do when I get to breathe clean air I'm just excited to do it. It's finally happening. I'm starting to realize that stressing over what's coming up is just distracting me from whats happening right now. I've forgotten what it started out like here. I used to enjoy playing cards with the boys, drinking and talking about our various escapades. I used to be entertained by hearing, telling, and making stories with the men I've spent so long cooped up with. Lately I've let those moments pass by while I zoned out and my thoughts were plagued by the war. Last night I played poker and in the moment that's all I did and that's all that consumed my mind. I fell asleep still laughing from when Billy flipped the table over his last cigarette. I've decided to take some time after this to travel to exotic places and spend more money than necessary on Cuban cigars and expensive champagne. I want to thank you for being an aide in forming some hope in my life. You've been more of a friend and conscience than I could have asked for. I want to thank you again for answering that first letter. This desert broken scenery isn't over yet, I still have half a battle to face when I get home but I do know this, I will never forget the mystery woman that guided me this far. I hope one day I get to run into you in a super market or strip mall and put a face to the co-author of these exchanged words. Thank you for everything Cher,

James

As I was taping the seams of the letter closed I felt overcome by the freedom I was feeling. Anywhere in the world and in any position you could feel trapped. Right now, right here I felt different. I felt light, I felt free, as stupid as it sounds I feel like I could fly. I know Billy would smack me for saying that and I wouldn't blame him. I knew I couldn't write to Cher forever. We both had battles to face, obstacles to over come and although I liked to close my eyes sometimes and picture her sitting on my sisters porch swing reading my letters, I knew at some point we'd have to let go of these exchanges although I would hold onto the letters forever. As much as I appreciated Cher I felt as though these letters freed me and we only owed it to ourselves to keep moving forward. Soon I'd be on a plane to somewhere in the States. Maybe open my own mechanic shop in Chicago or North Carolina. I might even decide to go to Italy instead and spend some time there. Whatever it was it was all starting to feel right.

Cher

James,

You're right. Everything is falling into place. And I have you to thank for helping me along the way. You have helped me be freed in more way than one. Jack came back to the store and I stood my ground which I could have never done before. Although it's sad to let go of these pages between us I know it's just another step in life and I will never forget you. In the spirit of moving on I'm leaving this hideout. I'm done hiding, and I have no clue where yet but I'm excited to figure it out. The words we have shared started in a dark place and I think it's only write to end them in such light. This is never really the end however, because I will forever remember the man oversees who taught me to be free isn't to run away but to make light of everything around you. Being free is taking charge of your own life. I thank you for that. Maybe we will run into each other one day or maybe we won't. Whatever the outcome I have cherished the pages between us. Until we speak again, Goodbye James.

Yours, Cher

It was such a strange and bittersweet moment to place the final letter we'd exchange in the mail box. I really didn't even know if he'd get it before he left Afghanistan; however, I knew he'd know what I'd say to him anyway. Life was full of surprises. Life was full of hello's and Goodbye's. This didn't feel like a goodbye, but another chapter added into the chronicles of life.

I spent the rest of my day off apartment hunting online in various states. I kept coming back to Chicago however and soon enough I called one building and ended up taking it on the spot. I gave Sara my two weeks notice and spent the days packing my items into boxes. I found a job through a landscaping company that would put me through some online design courses for free in exchange for becoming one of their landscape designers. Life was looking up and I knew as I was packing my bags and getting ready to move on to a new chapter in Chicago James was packing his duffel bag to get on a plane to anywhere he pleased.

As I loaded up my car two weeks later I placed the box filled with the pages between James and I in the passenger seat. It only seemed right that the words that encouraged me to move forward were right there beside me as I did just that.