The Darkness in her Eyes

1

 I stare at the alarm clock.

6:30am.

Ughh. Why did I have to get up so early?

"David! Wake your ass up-NOW!"

So much for sleeping for a few minutes. I groan and stretch onto the bed. There was no stopping my mom once she started yelling.

"David! Get up, seriously! You will miss the bus and your sister won't have time to take you because she has to drive to her new school today!"

I sit up and slide my hand under the bed to get the plastic tub of clothes. Mom had bought me some new clothes to wear for my new school. I can't believe I'll be starting my Sophomore year already. I wish I could just stay home and finish school online. I can wear what I want, socialize when I want, and I didn't have to deal with the constant contact of people.

Come on Annie, just breathe. Your nerves are getting the best of you.

I look down at the neatly folded clothes and while all of them still had the price tags on them; they were all brightly colored.

I shrug to myself. Might as well find something. Mom had been taking money from Dad's wallet for six months to get me these clothes, I might as well be appreciative. I still mourned my own clothes. I loved dark colors and while Aunt Terry loved to get me blouses and dresses for Christmas every year, I still craved t-shirts and jeans.

I settled on a long sleeve pink Aéropostale shirt and some jeans. As I ran my hand against the jeans, the soft texture differs from what I'm used to. I stare at the price tags.

No, that can't be right?

Mom should be glad she didn't get caught. I get it; she wants me to have a fresh start. She was probably remembering her school days, when the kids picked on her for how she walked because of her spina bifida. Mom couldn't handle it and ended up dropping out.

I blamed County High for allowing kids to bully others so severely. They had picked on my father as well because of his hearing impairment. The school seemed to have a motto, look away, and it never happened.

I sigh in frustration. I would love to wear my normal clothes to school, but I don't want to disappoint her or waste the clothes she has spent a lot of money on.

I will need some caffeine.

I was messaging Brandon and Phillip about the new episode of Degrassi and almost got caught by father as he was awake early this morning getting ready for work.

As I walk into the living room, my mom is sitting on the couch smoking a cigarette and drinking her coffee. She's playing CMT Music on TV and was listening to Tim McGraw by Taylor Swift.

I sit down in my father's recliner and inhale a can of Mountain dew.

"Get out of my pop!", Mom said.

"I just had one Mom."

"This is a fresh start for you, you need to make the most of it."

"I know Mom."

"Bree assures me, you'll make some friends and fit in."

" I know Mom."

"You know, you can use my makeup." Mom's eyes lit up. "Oh, Annie let me do your hair and makeup!"

"I brushed it, it's fine."

Mom looks down, defeated.

I roll my eyes. "Fine, I'll put some eyeshadow and eyeliner on."

She claps her hands and mutes the TV.

As I walk into the bathroom, she yells, "Make sure you take off the makeup and the clothes at Aunt Terry's before you come. I really don't want to hear your dad tonight."

I mimic my mom in the bathroom. "Your cousin says" as I stick my tongue out in the mirror.

Bree was two years older than me, even though she's known me my whole life, she didn't have a clue who I was. Bree was the typical prep girl turned goth. Bree loved NSYNC and now pretends she wants to be a vampire. They catered to Bree as a child, while my bedroom was bare, they filled hers with the newest toys. I didn't hate her, I just stopped being close to my family a long time ago.

My mind wanders back to the past...

Bree looks at me with a mischievous look in her eyes. My small hands hold hers as we sit in her room playing with dolls. Ken is sitting with us and looks uninterested in the dolls we are playing with.

"Ken, Can Annie play our game?" Bree asks as she bites her lip.

What game? I want to play too, no one ever wants to play with me.

"I don't know, it's for big kids."

"She's a big kid now," said Bree.

"I don't have diapers now.", I put my small hands on my hips and smiled.

"Let me tell you the rules of the game.'' Ken said.

He leads us into his room, and I look back in the living room. My mom is drinking coffee with all her brothers and sisters.

I feel so excited that my cousins want to play with me, they never want to play with me.

"It's fun playing doctor.'' Bree said as she sits on Ken's bed.

"Doctor? I don't wanna shoot!" I shake and cry.

" Bree, told you she's a baby."

"I am not a baby!" I look up at him with the most grown up face I could muster.

Ken nods and Bree gets undressed. Ken gets undressed.

"Take off your clothes Annie, it's fun." Bree said.

I take off my clothes and I feel so cold.

"Close your eyes, Annie" Ken said.

My eyes go open as he touches my skin. It feels like my skin is on fire. I must lay still. I don't want them to hate me and call me a baby.

He touches me with my inner thigh, and I pee all over the bed.

He smacks me.

"Get dressed now! I told you Bree she's a little ugly baby!"

"She just needs time, like I did."

"Nice try, get on the bed Bree!"

Bree looks at me cowering in the corner. She looks at me with pure hatred on her face.

I quietly get dressed and watch Bree lay down. He's touching her between her thighs too. I hear her whimpering. I try to move to help her. I'm too scared. I sob quietly and turn my head, so I don't have to look anymore.

Ken gets up from the bed and grabs me by the throat, "If you ever tell anyone about this, I will hurt you!"

Annie back to reality now. Breathe. One, two, three. I take a deep breath.

Heavenly Sue stares at me wagging her tail by the porch as I walk outside. I bend down and rub her belly. She was a beautiful lemon white beagle.

"Be good for grand momma, ya hear."

Heavenly Sue nods as if she understands and runs in the house.

"Heavenly Sue, stop running through this damn house. Get off this couch now!"

I chuckle. Good girl.