You know what?
Opening up is scary.
You never know how far you'll end up going,
never know how much you've missed that feeling,
never know how much you'll spill,
never know how much it's hurting.
I don't like to open up.
I'll believe that it's good,
believe that it will all stop after this,
believe that they will understand,
believe that the amount coming out is normal,
believe that I am okay.
I hate opening up.
Because when it's over I'll just want to do it again,
and again,
and again,
and again,
and again.
Opening up hurts.
It hurts before,
it hurts then,
it hurts after,
and it keeps on hurting,
it's supposed to stop the pain not cause it.
Yet,
when I'm given the chance,
without hesitation,
I open myself up for everyone to see,
for everyone to notice:
There is something wrong with me.
