Most of my nights consist of thinking about how if I did one thing different my whole life could wouldn't be the same.
Like maybe if I got home 10 minutes earlier i could of stopped my mum and her boyfriends fight
Which meant he wouldn't of left her when she was pregnant
Which meant mum wouldn't have gone through depression
Which meant she wouldn't've lost her job
Which meant we wouldn't have moved to Sydney
And I wouldn't have meet Callum
I still don't know If its a good thing he left.
I mean I hated him we would always argue and I thought of killing myself all the time.
I was only in grade 5, you're not even meant to know the meaning of suicide in grade 5 let alone want to do it.
But he made my mum happy and that was good enough for me.
I'm still not sure I'm happy I met Calum though. I was completely and utterly in love with him but we were just 'friends'.
I thought guy were the one that were meant to be in the friendzone.
Not girls.
But I don't blame him, I mean I wouldn't love me if I was him either. I'm not exactly the most attractive girl you've ever seen.
I had pale white skin with Freckles scattered around my face, and long curly black hair.
The only thing good about me was my smile.
I have nice straight white teeth, and pink girly lips.
Anyway I meet Calum at school.
I had two school to choose from.
One school you had to sit a three hour test to get in,
or Calum's school.
Not trying to seem stuck up or anything but I'm pretty smart I was always top of my class in school. But losing all your money and seeing your mum cry almost every night does something to you so of corse being the lucky person I am I failed the test and had to go to Calum school.
I'm still not sure of this is a good thing or not.
Cause maybe if I stopped felling sorry for myself I would've got into the school.
And maybe would've never met him
And I wouldn't be hopelessly in love with him,
But then it all circles back to me darriving home 10 minutes late.
