Addicted.

22: Unplanned Goodbyes

Qatari.

I glanced down at my phone not seeing a single call or anything from Jamel. I hadn't seen him in about a week and everything else in this world was starting to irk my nerves, including Samson. I just wanted to go back to work, I wanted him to stop caring so much, truthfully - I wanted the old Sam back. "Did you hear me?" He questioned causing me to look up into his direction, "yes loud and clear," I sent him warm smile but it wasn't real. Nothing was real anymore.. To me. This marriage was completely fake. I know who I belonged too, even god knew that himself but there was no way I'd be able to be with Jamel with Sam in the way.

"Okay so when can we go?" He wondered walking over to my side of the bed and taking a seat beside me. I felt my body completely tense up as he placed his hands onto me, I felt absolutely disgusted but I hid the expression on my face well.

I shrugged my shoulders while dipping my head down rubbing the back of my neck, trying to calm my nerves.

He continued digging his finger tips into my muscle on my inner shoulder.

"Sam-" I said sternly causing him to stop rather quickly. "Yes?" He responded slowly running his hands down my arms.

"Where are we going?" I wondered.

"On a trip, just you and me.."

A part of me liked the idea of going on a trip with Sam but I didn't want to tolerate him much longer. "Sounds fun," I pecked his cheek and stood my feet. I walked over to the bathroom letting the bottom of my soles grace the carpeted flooring. "I'll book it immediately," he assured reaching over getting his laptop from the side chair placing it onto his lap.

"Good I'm gonna go for a walk," I confessed looking into the mirror tying my hair into a sloppy bun.

"Well let me come with you," he suggested and I quickly stopped him, "no.. I'd rather go alone," I confessed then I saw a confused expression come about on his face. I nodded slowly, "I need some breathing room.. There's still so much going on," I added glancing quickly at the photo of Erica and I.

His expression suddenly softened, "well you know you can talk to me honey.. About anything."

I laughed a bit, "I'd rather be alone if you can respect that."

He slowly nodded - rather understanding and whispered, "of course."

Once I was dressed in my sports bra and yoga tights, I raced out the front door with my music blaring in my ears. It was pitch black outside besides the lamp posts going down the long quiet streets. I managed to reach the corner and stood there deciding where to go on the four way street. The sprinkler came on directly beside me which caused me to quickly jog across the street - straight ahead I thought to myself.

Suddenly I had felt a presence behind me and I quickly looked over my shoulders seeing someone walking towards me in the distance, wearing a black hoodie with black pants. It was hard to see their face because they kept their head down.

I quickly shook it off and carried on.

The humid air started to grow chilly and I began hugging myself.

I paced myself deciding it was time to go home. I screamed out once I felt someone force their hand over my mouth, "shhh it's me," the voice said. I immediately pulled away and removed my air pods, "Jamel are you serious?" I nearly hollered. He chuckled and removed his hoodie exposing his beautifully twisted dreads. "I missed'chu," he mumbled stuffing his hands in his pockets. My eyes rolled, "you're lying because you ain't bothered to talk to me or anything like that."

"Fuck you mean?" He questioned becoming upset, "I tried to fuckin' pop up but yo dude at home."

"Bye," I mumbled starting to walk away.

He reached out and pulled me back towards him causing me to break into a smile. The smell of his cologne was drawing me in as quick as ever. The firm grip he had on my waist had me even more enticed. I found myself growing aroused from the simple touch. This was intimacy at its finest. Intimacy didn't always have to consist of sex. "Don't bye me," he spat stuffing his face into my neck inhaling my scent.

"You needa come spend the night wimme," he suggested sounding rather raspy with his tone of voice.

"Umm I wish I could but I can't.. I'm going outta town soon, I'm not sure when," I admitted admiring face his saddened face.

"Whea you goin' and when you comin' back?"

I shrugged not knowing.

He kissed his teeth, "I took care of that problem for ya," he confessed with wide eyes and I already knew he was referring to the girl I killed in a pit of rage. "Mm thanks," I mumbled unsure really what to say. I felt bad because I really didn't feel guilty for doing what I had done, that bitch should've never fucked him. Especially in my face like that. Wrong place at the wrong time is all.

"I'm comin' outta town too," he teased.

I laughed, "yeah fucking right."

"Watch you gon' see.."

"Whatever," I pushed his face jokingly with a sly smile.

He sighed, "imma miss you doe."

I nodded in agreement, "I'll miss you too Melly."

"You fuckin' betta."