Come back, I need you // Depressed Peter Parker (Spider-Man) //

ch. 1: Alone home

Peter's POV:

Diary entry n° 682:

" It's Sunday again. Today makes four months since we 'fixed the apocalypse' or, well, saved the whole universe from Thanos' sickening intentions. Its pretty recent still, I don't know how everyone seems to have gotten over it already. As to me, I can't even believe reality is real anymore. Im terrified of waking up to see a new day in this 'dream' people call real life.
For me, nothing has happened and I'm just living a small nightmare where time seems to never end. The fact that nightmares don't actually last long but could fit years of events in your mind is amazing. In dreams time appears to work different too, you could see a whole decade in your head when just being asleep for twenty minutes. Considering that, all this could be a nightmare, I just have to live through it until I wake up and continue with reality once more.
No changes. No deaths. No pain. Just another good week to continue, leaving everything I'm experiencing now to be eventually forgotten. After all, dreams aren't real and will never be, right?

Anyway, you should know by now that I didn't come here to ramble for no reason. Right, diary? It's been so long now, I'm sure you've gotten bored of hearing me every and each day... I will go straight to the point today, to make it easier for you.

In this four months I have been living with my aunt back at our old appartment and school continued just like before. Now that Mr.Stark is... Gone, I have only visited the tower the few times Happy called me for some 'missions', but they weren't really a big deal. Besides from the obvious trauma everyone has, life is now back to normal, like it was before. Im glad people managed to go on, but I can't, not without him. I miss Mr.Stark a lot, too much I'd say. And now that's late is when I realise how much I cared for him. Sometimes I wish they hadn't tried to fix the first snap, the world would've learned to live without us eventually and no one would have died. Or that someone else had made the snap instead of Mr.Stark, but those thoughts are just failed attempts of fooling my head.

I need to wake up from this horrible dream before it ends, please."

I was sat down on the floor inside my room, right on the soft white carpet beside my bed with my back lying against the wall as I wrote in an small notebook (that I used as a diary/vent book). That was until I heard May's voice calling my name from another room. I got up, leaving my notebook and pen under the bed's pillow and walking out of the room, lazily turning off the light and closing the door. I walked down the corridor until I found where she was calling from, the living room. May was chilling in the couch, watching some low-cost novel in tv. The moment she noticed I came in from the corridor, she muted the tv and turned to face me with a smile. "Hello Pete, sorry for interrupting you but I just remembered something I had to tell you." She paused a bit before continuing, probably trying to remember what she had to say. "Did you have any plans for today, dear?" and with a smile, she waited for my reply, to which I only shook my head in confusion. "Nothing? You haven't left the house to meet your friends in a really long time, you should go out more often dear. Anyway, if you're staying home all day, you'll have to make yourself dinner and luch, alright? There are some left overs in the fridge, you could eat that too." May concluded. "On a Sunday? That's weird" I thought, and "Oh, alright, do you work this afternoon?" I asked, walking up to her and resting on the couch from behind it, looking at the tv. She chuckled and explained "On a Sunday? Dear god, I hope not! Im just going out with some friends from work, we'll eat together so I expect to get home late this evening but, if anything, I'll have my phone with sound so you can call me" We exchanged smiles and I nodded, saying "hope you have fun with them! And don't worry about it, I'll be fine on my own"

After that small talk I stayed there watching tv with my aunt. It was around 10am at the time, I had had breakfast already so we just waited until lunch time came around and May had to leave. She got ready and kissed my forehead before walking to the door, saying goodbye and leaving. I was left alone the whole afternoon from that moment on.

At first, I thought of being a bit productive for once and do my homework, which is exactly what I did. It took me a bit to finish all I had accumulated the past week (as I had been doing everyone else's work instead of mine), around three hours. I kept myself busy enough to forget about having lunch, I wasn't hungry anyway. By the time I freed myself, it was 4pm. "It's just four in the afternoon??? It looked like longer! We still have a minimum of five hours to go, that supposing she doesn't arrive so late." I thought to myself as I stared at my watch, rolling my eyes and laying back on the chair, sighing in boredom. There was nothing else for me to do, the house was pretty clean on it's own and there weren't exams I could study for. It was surely going to be a long afternoon for me.

Being alone home wasn't something that worried me, I had always enjoyed having time for myself, but I needed something to keep me busy or I would just waste time like an idiot.

I waited for my pc to turn on putting the books inside my school bag and pushing it to the other side of my desk so it wouldn't bother me. "I'll find something to do here, for sure" I told myself as I sat on the chair and clicked on chrome. Having lots of pages opened was a habit of mine, I never closed them just in case I wanted to use them later on. However, I didn't have nothing important to check in those, it was only social media and some web articles I found interesting and saved. "What can I do?? C'mon, there must be something I'm missing!" I complained out loud. Boredom had always been frustrating for me, doing nothing felt like wasting time I wouldn't have later on.

All that came to mind was music so I went to YouTube and started listening to one of my saved playlists on speakers but in a low volume. That one had lots of songs I listened to when I needed to cheer up, the music itself was full of hope and joy, though I didn't pay enough attention to the lyrics.

With music killing the silence in the whole apartment, I checked my social medias for a while. I scrolled down the sites carelessly until my phone ringing interrupted. Looking at the contact I saw it was Ned who called me. "Ned? He doesn't call often, wonder what he wants" I paused the music in my computer and answered the call, brining the phone to my ear. "Hey Ned! What's up?" I greeted with a cheerful tone, smiling to myself. Basically, he called me to ask if I was up to play some game with him. I had never played that one before, but I agreed to play with him anyway. Next thing I did was download the game and create an account to join Ned's game. We played for hours, talking and laughing in the voice chat. At some point, Ned was called for dinner and said we had to leave the game for another time before he left. It was around 10pm and I was free once more. I could have had dinner, sure, but I still wasn't hungry. All I did was throw out a small part of the left overs just to pretend like I had eaten and cleaned everything. Not a big lie, is it?

May could come any moment then, it was late already and she wasn't the type to appear home at 3am. My body was still exhausted from the past week, I didn't have much strength to do anything else so I directly changed to my pyjamas and got inside my bed. When I made sure the alarm for tomorrow was on, I left the phone on nightstand, turned off the lights and closed my eyes. "Nighty, world..." I mumbled sleepily with a soft smile, curling up in a more comfortable pose, slowly falling asleep.

Posted: 18 of February, 2020