PEACH :: ETHAN DOLAN

QUINZE

Come Monday morning, Ethan did not want to get out of bed. He needed time, and the weekend just wasn't long enough.

Alondra texted him on Saturday morning saying exactly what he had been wanting her to say since the day she asked for space, but Ethan wasn't ready then. Not at all. He had just found out Phoenix didn't cheat, he could only focus on that at the time.

So, he asked Alondra to meet before class on Monday. Now that it was Monday, he was actually feeling pretty nervous.

Everything in his life was complicated right now, it was hard to think straight. Not to mention Grayson kept pestering him, and Ethan didn't really know what to tell his brother. They used to tell each other everything, but Ethan couldn't tell him what he was unsure of. He couldn't vocalize everything he was feeling because he was feeling too much.

Ecstasy and misery, lost and found, confused and lucid--all of it was being felt at once from different things.

So, he went about his Monday like nothing had changed. He pulled up outside Phoenix's house and texted her to get outside. "I didn't expect to see you this morning," she mumbles as she climbs in. "I can drive myself, you know."

Ethan just tosses her a peach and drives off. For the first morning since they started this, she isn't annoyed with him. Her annoyance had been mostly an act in the first place, and her continuing to try and drive him away. Very little of it was real, but if it was, it was because he wasn't supposed to be getting invested in her again. But that didn't matter now that she told him. "Eat your peach, Nix."

She frowns at his demeanor. No mention of this weekend, just pretending everything is the same when it's not.

Her weekend, after coming clean, was rough. She found herself messaging Scott--who came over to see her for the first time in a while. Despite her group of friends at school and parties, Phoenix wasn't really close with anyone else.

The drive is silent, not even the radio switched on to relieve the tension. Ethan is swimming in his thoughts, not drowning, but holding his breath.

As they both climb out of the car, he grabs her arm. "Wait, Nix."

"Yeah?" She asks quietly. She was glad to not have to pretend to hate him anymore.

"I know you're wondering about everything you told me this weekend, and if I'm being honest, I still need time," he sighs. "It was a lot to take in. A lot to think about. You didn't cheat on me, and it feels so nice to know that, but you also let me wallow in that pain knowing it wasn't true."

Phoenix nods, soaking in every word. "I'm still sorry, E. You can have all the time you need."

"We're also... we're different people than we were back in February. I think that's obvious." The two had changed. They were both in completely different head spaces now, not to mention things between them were nowhere near the same. At least she wasn't pushing him away by being mean anymore, or pretending she didn't care when she so obviously did. "So I don't know, I don't wanna avoid you. I'm still gonna check in. I was so in love with you, Nix. I'm not sure how I feel about everything--and god, there's still stuff with Alondra too. I just need time before I can tell you how I'm doing, or accept your apology."

She gives a small, soft smile up at him. "Alright, E. I won't ask about anything unless you start talking about it. For now, we can just... be awkward."

He lets out a breathy chuckle, wrapping his arms around her. "Text me if you need anything. I..." Ethan lets the I love you trail off instead of saying it. Even saying it platonically was too much right now, and though it affected her, she understood. "See you later, Nix."