I like you a lot. I want to be everything you ever asked for and more. I want to create the best moments and memories that we can thrive off of for the rest of time. Because time would feel so limitless we'll just call it ours. I can't seem to get the thought of you out of my mind. Everywhere I go and everything I do is somehow disguised for how it will somehow also benefit you too. I want to show you what that would be exactly for I have yet to find out entirely. Believe me when I say, I want to do and be everything for you if you will everything for me. I believe the energy we can both create and live from, can be a force and manifestation where we'll shine through any and everything in our path. We'll go everywhere and display this abundant aura through our loving eyes that we'll leave a trail of bliss to the rest of our awakening race. There won't be anything that will stop us from staying at such a potent level that it will be inevitable for masses to level up also. Only with such ideas do I have to take a moment and reflect on what an impact that would look like. What magic can happen. I don't want you just for company or for sex. I want you for the potential uplifting performance of our glowing souls dancing around on earth. Anywhere and everywhere we choose. Where feeling real will not be real anymore for it is transcendent and a fulfillment of our divine purpose. A calling that we finally reached out and answered to. An undeniable trust in faith and surrender into serenity where we'll be unified to catch a glimpse of the absolute light of love where we'll meet again and spend forever. I've waited so long to tell you this. I've hoped and dreamed since I was a child to share these emotions thoroughly, vulnerable. I can only hope to stay as driven and focused on your heart as much as possible as long as I know that you won't leave. For if you did, I would have nothing. And my heart would be locked away from the light once again. And if so be, I would write out how much could've been so right when all I can feel is the wrong just as equally or more. I'll remember your name, the way we spent our time. Our skin in contact, particular pauses of pleasure, and the featherweight of joy and peace in your voice relaying words soon after. And it'd be so ingrained into my memory that it would only show itself in melodies in my phases of despair; where I'd have no choice but regret every minuscule detail of it all and overthink every scenario where I could've possibly went wrong. But instead I cling. Cling onto my own sense of sanity and make amends with what is. Dealing with the lows of reality I find contentment knowing that I can and will better my future anyways. I hoped and dreamed for what shattered my vision infront of me, and I let it. I recycled the past and this time it threw me up onto the concrete under the street light. Cold, alone and afraid I again have yet to ask myself why it got to this. Why the winter seems too much of a coincidence. Why my breathe is visible in this season, at this moment. Why it represents everything wrong with my thoughts and my environment. Feelings of being trapped inside but I'm outside. Thinking I'll never move from this spot when I know that won't be the case. The point which I slowly shut down like an old intel computer into deep sleep, traveling endlessly through fake clouds of my own imagination. Encumbered in these moments of peace and still wandering how it got to be I continue on. And that when I'll see you. That'll be the moment where I'll be too tired to wake myself up and too busy being entertained by your image that I'll surely be curious to find out what happens next. It'll be in this moment where I soon after plunder back into my pit of despair. The void or unhealed part of me unprocessed that I don't realize is my lack of self love continuing to pursuade of how lost and alone I'll always be until I'm not. And then it happens again, once more, and more, and another time after that, until reality catches up to my thoughts consciously to the ones that have me been attempting to guide me in my sleep where I'll finally realize, it was you. Not me, without love. And that's ok.
