If Only You Knew

Ch 4: Breathing Again

Ethan's POV:

As I sit there my heart begins to race. My worry begins to just completely override my system. Guilt, hate and more negative things keep cycling over and over again in my mind. I know that my head is not in a good place right now, but my mind doesn't care. I look up when I hear a group of nurses running pass us. I stand up to go to the door but a firm grip lands on my arm.

"Ethan. Sit down. Not now." Sean motions me back into the seat. Sadly I refused.

"No," I say with the evidence of pain through my breath. I began my way to the door only to be pulled back by Mark. I look into his eyes and pull away. As I walk through the door, however, I was abruptly stopped by yet another group of nurses fussing past with a bed. As I look at it, however, I see her.

My heart just dropped. All I remember is just running towards the ever closing doors and feeling a hands-on my shoulders pulling me back. "No . . ." I day through the little gasps I produce trying to catch my breath. ". . . I . . . I have to-" I was cut off with a face getting in mine.

"Look. I know what you want to do, but you Have to wait. They are doing an emergency surgery. Either sit your ass back down or go with Sean to the car. I am not dealing with this shit right now Ethan." Mark says in the angriest voice I ever heard. I rip away from his grasp and just run. Out the doors, down the road, all I did was just go in one direction.

I don't know where I ended up, or why I even left, but the last thing I remember is the cold of a bench under me as I shut my eyes to sleep.

Amy's POV:

I see Ethan walk out and I begin to get worried. None of us have ever seen this with him before. He was always the one who would stay calm, sit there and wait. HE would be the one telling Mark to calm down. Telling all of us to just be happy and look for the bright side in things.

"Mark. What did you do?" I look at him with the biggest sense of worry. I know that it takes a lot to get him upset.

"I have no idea." He says as he rubs the back of his neck. I shake my head as I grab my keys.

"Sean, keep Mark calm and don't let him blow up over nothing OK?" He gives me a reassuring nod. "Now Mark," He looks at me with giant eyes. "I need you to sit there and think about what you did to get him this riled up." I walk out of the room, tears brimming, as I rush out of the door.

Where is he? I think as I begin to ride around the area. I pass by park after park. I went down main roads, side streets, dead-end roads, even went around the fenced-in communities. I stopped in all of but one park so far and walked around to see if he was there. Nothing.

My mind is running at what feels like 100 miles a second. Maybe he was walking towards the hotel? Maybe he took a cab and was there? But what if he did not do any of that. What if he was just walking and got hit? Someone could have taken him. Or even worse. I didn't want to think of that anymore.

As I enter the last park though, something didn't feel right. I was not sure whether it was the number of benches in there or the fact that is was sunset and so many teenagers were sitting and smoking weed. Why the fuck do I get myself into these situations?

I get out of the car making sure I put my keys in my bra so they can't pickpocket me what I walked around. The problem was the farther I got into the park, the more people there were. I finally saw someone though that looked completely out of place. They were what I presumed to be asleep. As I got closer though, my heart began to ache.

It was Ethan. He ran over three miles to this stupid place. All of this pain began to lift as I sat next to him and just stared in awe. I thought he was gone. He is going to pay so much later. I slightly shake his shoulder getting a small groan of defiance. That made my emotions go into overload.