Phan oneshot collection

Siri

Word count: 7.7k

Genre: cute fluff with warning of little bit of blood and it gets sad but ends happily dont worry it's good

Also dan said he talks to siri late at night in his most recent video and i s2g i must be psychic to have come up with this idea ages ago and this to happen now

Dan grinned as he got his post, hands trembling as he ran up the stairs, box in his hands as he opened his door and threw the rest of his post on the table, using his keys to slice open the sellotape and pulling the package apart almost rabidly as his new iPhone appeared in his hands.

It was so pristine and new. He wanted to treasure it forever, never drop it, treat it like his own child.

That didn't stop him from accidentally pulling off the screen protectors.

He switched it on and set it up, grinning at how smoothly it worked compared to his old shitty Samsung. Apple over android any day for Dan.

There were just so many features he could use and he was quite excited for the new Siri. Apparently it was really good and even sassy according to Jack. Sounded exactly like Dan's kind of thing. He would just have to learn how to work it.

He already knew he wouldn't get off this God-send for days.

*

Beep

"Hey Siri," Dan said as the screen flashed up.

"Yes Daniel?" The voice replied and Dan winced.

"Oh god, please call me Dan," he said, almost hearing his mother's condescending voice repeated in his head and his phone beeped again.

"Would you like me to call you Dan?" Siri responded and Dan smiled.

"Yes," he said clearly.

"Okay, Dan." Siri said.

"Ah, first name basis," Dan mused before tapping his screen again. "Hey Siri, do you have a nickname?"

"My name is Siri, but you already knew that,"

"Can I give you a nickname?"

"But... Everyone else calls me Siri,"

"But I'm different,"

"Here's some information:"

Dan sighed as the web definition of 'different' appeared on his screen and he closed it.

Why was he even talking to his phone?

*

For some reason, Dan was still thinking about Siri being forced to have a name. It seemed stupid but why has Apple made it so the voice was called Siri? Was it so it could be gender neutral? Because it was an easy name that was too common like Tom or Jane or something?

Beep

"Siri, why are you called Siri?"

"It's a riddle wrapped in an enigma, tied with a pretty ribbon of obfuscation." Siri replied simply and Dan stared at his screen.

He might just google it.

Apparently in Norwegian, Siri means 'beautiful woman who leads you to victory' which a man Kittalaus had named his daughter. This man had also come up with the speech recognition idea and even made it, calling it after said daughter. However, Apple bought the product for $200 million but there was one problem. Steve Jobs didn't like the name. However, it was kept simply because no one could dream up any better.