I have taken to writing when I'm upset or sad. It's just easier for me I guess, since I have no one to talk to. Writing is like talking to someone when there is no one. Although the one sided conversations get boring and honestly depressing after awhile. I'm not sure that doing this is good for me and my mental health. Or my social health for that matter. I'm alone most of the time. In my room by myself. It sucks. I do have one friend though, he's usually busy all the time which makes me sad. I try to talk to him all the time and usually we have pretty good decent length conversations for someone like me. I made a playlist on spotify that I titled "Happiness" that I listen to when I feel sad and lonely. Most of the time it helps. On it are songs that typically make me happy or feel better. My methods of coping with life suck. Music and writing, makes me sound emo. I wish I could do something physical, go somewhere else, do something else. Being at home sucks, I would much rather be anywhere else. But the thing is that I don't want to be alone and I'm far too picky with my friends. I can't drive either, but it wouldn't matter anyway because I don't want to do things alone.
I feel very sad right now. I wish people would reach out to me. I feel like if I want to have any friends in the world I am going to have to put in all the effort. Is it too much to ask for someone to message me first, to have someone show that they care about me?
