You're always with me. In my head. I have full conversations with you. Things I wish I could say, I wish I could remember when I am with you. I hate remembering something I wanted to tell you after you leave. Cause then I want to tell you but I feel like if I told you everything I've ever wanted to say it would take too long or be too annoying. I want to tell you of almost every idea that pops into my head. I want to share my ideas with you. I just have so many of them that I would have to text you like every 5 minutes or so to let you know. I don't really understand why I feel like I want to tell you all these things anyway. Maybe it's because you're the first person to listen to me. None of my friends have ever really listened to me. They've always made me feel like their life and their problems were far more important than mine. Their ideas were more meaningful. I want a hug right now. For me to sit cross legged on your bed with you behind me wrapping your arms around me. You should do that sometimes, hug me from behind, I would really enjoy it. I just want your attention. I want someone to pay attention to me, not because I made them, but because they care enough about me to want to. I talk to you out loud most of the time. I have full on conversations with facial expressions and laughs and other sounds. Sometimes I think that people think I'm weird for doing it but honestly it's one of the only ways I feel happy anymore. That's just sad. My happiness comes from imaginary conversations with an imaginary version of you. Oh well, I guess I'll just be sad by myself because you don't seem to want to care about me. No one does.
