I can't believe when I was in seventh grade I met someone here who hated like hated Samuel so fucking much I wanted to kill him off
The only reason was because I wanted to make the person who hated him so much ...happy
They would tell me day after day they'd want to kill themselves
They'd cut themselves
And they'd show it all to me
Who at the time was young and naïve
So many nights
Crying
Pleading
Telling them to not kill themselves Wasting time ignoring family and friends ...
So I could focus on someone who I don't even know
It went on for a while
They added me on Instagram
And it was there they'd sent me pictures of their oc's killing people showing me things that he would cut into his arms
Sent me a fucking suicide note... because he knew
He fucking knew I would give him the attention he wanted
He'd act like it was cute
"I made an oopsie...I cut myself.. I want to carve this into my arm owo..."
And my 12 year old self would...would cry for hours trying to tell them that I cared for them and I wouldn't want them to hurt..
We stopped talking after a while I forgot about I forgot how toxic they were to me and I felt..hapoy to not have the burden of making someone else happy...
Until they posted in their art book recently...
The memories came flooding back and ... I just started crying which is stupid they probably forgot about me
And they're fine and happy now
Who chu makes me wonder if they even
Cared..if they even saw what was wrong..if they even understood what they did was toxic and hurt me so much
Probably not
Anyways that's my rant
