I looked at the time it was 3:00 time wasn't moving but it felt like I was searching for Jacob for hours where could he be and how could he possibly know my house better than I do even tho he is always over and always finding knew places. Ok he does know my house better than me but whatever that's besides the point. I went upstairs to a little attic I had redecorated and made my own little go to room to pray and do just about anything. I pushed the door to see a Jacob staring through the window with his back to me. Jacob was a very cute guy most girls loved him at our school and it baffled me because he was a Christian not one of those other boys but every girl seemed to be in love with him. Who wouldn't be his chocolate skin was perfect his hair was amazing, his smile well it captured you in it. He was gorgeous but how could he possibly like me let alone Love me. I mean triton was a cute guy but because of how he was it took away from his physical features. I sighed and pushed the door "hey" I said he turned to look at me but I could see that he was sad and looked heart broken and he never tried to hide it. "Hey" he said dryly trying to force a smile. " I'm sorry" I said "it's fine" he turned to walk out again. But I blocked the door "I don't have feelings for yo- well I don't know". I closed my eyes and said but that was a lie I always liked Jacob but he never behaved like he liked me or loved me that's why this was so shocking. When I opened my eyes he was an inch away from my face. We stared into each other's eyes and slowly he got closer and kissed me. I froze I could feel his heart pounding against my chest. I could feel the love through his kiss it felt real like a piece of a puzzle that I didn't even know was missing and apart of me wanted it but I pushed him off " why would you do that!" I shouted. He looked defeated " I just - I don't know why okay I just wanted it I want you I'm tired of not saying it I just- I'm sorry" he said with a tears building up in his eyes. Jacob crying over me well wow. "You know I have a boyfriend" I said lowly " that you don't love and ur unhappy with I want to make you happy No one can love you like I can". " but I know and I'm sorry I kissed you I never wanted to be like that but I just couldn't hold it in". Was this really happening Jacob a guy I considered to be one of my closest friends actually in love with me for only God knows how long. I turned to leave and he reached out to stop me. I stopped but I never turned back to face him "I'm sorry" he said again. I was filled with mix emotions I didn't know how to answer him. I just left.
***
Good morning my favorite idiots kimony said stumbling into the kitchen. I looked at her weirdly "what?" She asked "why are you stumbling in the kitchen like a drunk person" I asked "maybe I'm drunk" she smirked and I laughed "leave breakfast will be ready soon you can join the others". "Why isn't Jacob in here he use to always be the one helping you?". That was the last name I wanted to hear I tried so hard to not think about the incident that happened between us but her asking about him just invited it back into my mind like an unwelcome guest. I just shrugged. Wishing to end this conversation soon. Kimony looked at me weirdly then left thank God I couldn't handle any questions and I wasn't ready to tell her what happened yet. Not until I understood.
***
"Breakfast is ready!" I shouted and everyone slowly came into the dinning room. My parents always left for work early in the mornings so I had to be making breakfast for my friends and I. "Mmmmmm if I could marry your cooking I would" Daniel said I laughed "sure u just want to marry my cooking" I smirked at Daniel "don't ever make that joke again" Daniel said in between coughs glaring at me with a disgusted face and I should have been offended but then again he is my guy best friend he is allowed have that view while everyone one else erupted in laughter . Well almost everyone Jacob wasn't downstairs yet. "Where is Jacob?" I asked " a sleep maybe" Daniel said "Jacob a sleep at 9:30 that boy wakes earlier than the hens that crow kakledoodledoo" Anna exclaimed and we all agreed but I couldn't help but laugh. It's true Jacob never wakes later than 7 no matter what time he went to bed. I got up to go look for him. I found him in the room he and Daniel shares whenever they stay over while all the girls get there own room I know that's unfair. Daniel and Jacob never cared tho. " hey" I said catching him off guard. He looked at me and half smiled " hey" he replied "I'm going to leave um my um parents need me for some family stuff" he continued to say. I knew he was lying because his parents would always call us and say if they were gonna take him back earlier than expected . I closed the door behind me. I stepped closer to him and he watched me. "Why are you lying? I know they didn't call you I know you wanna leave because of what happened but ok". He looked disappointed but why that's what he wanted. " you know it wouldn't hurt if you asked me to stay" he said. I just stood there "but whatever I never meant more than just a friend to you anyway". He continued was Jacob serious right now why was he even being like this. "You know that I care about you j you know that so why are acting like that. You just confessed your love to me and your behaving like you told me ages ago and I never did anything about it". He didn't answer he just looked at me and rolled his eyes. "How could I ? You have a boyfriend that you refuse to leave even tho he is bad for you". "That shouldn't be a problem to you" I snapped " ha! Wow you come to me every-time he does sump to you cry,
complain and it shouldn't be a problem to me just wow Anastasia". Why was he acting like this. I looked at him in disbelief I opened the door to leave and he grabbed me and pulled me into him "I'm sorry I'm just upset I shouldn't have said that to you or threw all that in your face". He wiped tears away that I didn't even know were on my face he released me and was about to walk out when I rushed up to him and kissed him For what felt like eternity. He didn't even hesitate to Kiss me back. It felt so right but either way I knew that This thing we were doing was so wrong but I didn't care I just wanted to feel his kiss again and again. I pulled away and he stared at me but then the feeling of guilt rushed through me. I rushed out of his room ran into mine, closed the door and locked it. I dialed a number but only then I realized who it was when the person answered "hello, hey babe wassup". Yes it was triton. "Nothing just here" I replied letting out a sigh that indicated how tired, overwhelmed and confused I was. "What's wrong?". He asked "just a little tired" I lied "Triton say I kissed a guy how would you feel". I asked "did you kiss a guy tasia?". I wanted to tell the truth but my mouth thought quicker than my brain "No!" I blurted out "just want to know what to tell daniel". I continued " I don't really care about ur male best friend" he snapped back. This always happens even tho it wasn't actually about my friend but he cares zero about my friends and whenever I go through sump he's never around to listen but expects me to always listen to him and be there for him but would rather party away his life. Our conversation continued for five minutes before I cut the call I wasn't in the mood to listen to his stupidity.
