Always Yours

I Need To Fix This

Josie POV-
Penelope left the school about two months ago. Lizzie and I made up partially but we are still distant. She at least stopped trying to get me to leave our room. If I'm not staring off into space in the couple of classes I go to, I am laying in my bed with headphones in listening to Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer with the blinds shut. I can't sleep at night easily so I always sneak out after Lizzie falls asleep. I walk out to the Old Mill and go for a run or box in the gym before being able to collapse from exhaustion. 
"Josie, come on. You need to go to class." Lizzie sits down on the edge of my bed and places her hand onto my leg over the covers. "Come on, Jo." I keep my eyes shut tight in fear of her seeing a tear escape my eyes. It has been exactly two months since Penelope left. Eventually, she stands up and walks out of our room. I release the shaky breath I was holding as I wrap my arms around myself. A quiet knock breaks through the silence after a couple of minutes.
The door clicks open as Hope walks in. "Hey Jo, Lizzie said you didn't want to come to class today." Hope sits down next to my head and pulls me into her lap like she has done every day for the past two months. She starts to run her fingers through my hair. "It's going to be okay, Jo. Everything will work out." I nod ever so slightly to acknowledge her comment. We sit there in silence until I manage to fall asleep.
Hope POV-
I have been checking up on Josie every day since Penelope left. She is really taking her leaving hard. They might not have been together when Penelope left for Belgium but it doesn't mean either of them stopped loving the other. Josie finally fell asleep in my lap so I pull out my phone. I assumed that Josie would have started to get better by now but I was wrong. "You did it. You finally broke her." I send the text to Penelope. We were never super close friends but we got closer before she left. My phone buzzes from a text. "What do you mean?" We've texted a little bit since she left but very little about Josie knowing it's a sensitive subject to approach. I carefully slide out from under Josie and quietly step back to take a picture of her curled up with Penelope's old hoodie. The bags under her eyes are very prominent as are her red cheeks stained with tears. I send the picture to Penelope. I leave the twin's room right as my phone begins to buzz with a call.
Penelope POV-
Hope sends me a picture of Josie sleeping. She looks exhausted and she's holding onto my old hoodie I gave her after she got drunk and spent the night like her life depends on it. I pull up Hope's contact and hit call. It rings a couple of times before she picks up. "Hey Pen, let me get further down the hall. One second." I wait listening as Hope passes other students. Eventually, it quiets down. "What the fuck is going on, Hope?" I get up from my new bed and begin to pace circles in my room. "Well, as you could see. You broke her. Why did you even leave again?" Her voice is protective. Josie is her best friend. She only wants the best for her. "I told you. I needed away from everything. I won't stay there and watch as Lizzie continues to slowly kill her, Hope. I can't. If this continues, Josie will just lose for Lizzie in the merge. I'll lose her. And," My voice breaks a little. I try to let out a small cough to try and hide it before continuing. "I can't lose her, Hope."
There is a pause as Hope composes her words. She lets out a sigh before speaking. "You are losing her because you left. She needs you right now. More than ever and you decided that you should walk away. Did you ever think about what she wants or how your decisions affect her? Because I am seeing the effects right now. And honestly, I am concerned for how this will end. Because her will to live is non existent right now, Park. So, fix this." And with that she hangs up the phone on me. I stop pacing. I sit down on the edge of my bed clutching my phone tightly before chucking it across the room. It smacks into my closet door and falls to the ground. My head falls into my hands as I finally release the tears and emotions I have been holding in for two long months that I have been pushing down. I thought that coming to Belgium with my Mom would fix things. Would force Josie to see that Lizzie is draining her but all it did was hurt my girl. The love of my life. Fuck. I need to fix this.

Hope POV-
I make my way towards my next class after hanging up on Penelope. She needed to hear what I had to say. I spot Lizzie and walk over to update her. "Hey, how was Jo today when you saw her?" I have never seen Lizzie so concerned for anyone in her life. Penelope leaving created a change. "I held her until she fell asleep then I talked to Penelope." Lizzie wasn't expecting this response. "Wait, you talked to her? What did she say?" She takes my arm and drags me into an empty classroom to talk. "Long story short, I told her she needed to fix this because she knows she fucked up." Lizzie nods her head deep in thought. "I hope she can."
Penelope POV-
I fall back onto my bed and will the tears to stop. Mom will be home soon and I don't want to worry her. I pull open my computer and turn on Spotify. I look over to my friends tab and see that Josie is still listening to Amnesia. I grab my headphones and plug them into my computer. I had meant to listen to the lyrics a couple of days ago when I noticed her listening to it but got side tracked. Why has she listened to this song so much?
"It's like we never happened, was it just a lie? If what we had was real, how could you be fine? 'Cause I'm not fine at all." My breathing starts to get heavier the more I listen. "I wish that I could wake up with amnesia and forget about the stupid little things. Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you and the memories I never can escape." I slam my computer shut and rip the headphones of my ears pulling my knees to my chest. I can feel my heart beating in my head. I try to take a deep breath but feel like I can't suck in enough oxygen. I close my eyes and put my head between my legs and try to focus on the texture of my comforter and the sounds I hear around me to help ground myself. This is the fourth panic attack I've had since getting here. After a couple of minutes, I finally gain control back over my body and calm my breathing. Once the pulsating stops in my head, I change into sweats and rush out the front door taking off at a full sprint.
My coping mechanism has been running. I've been running every day since I left Josie. When I get back to the house, I have sweat through my entire shirt and shorts. I am drenched. I walk into the kitchen to find Mom cooking dinner as I grab a water bottle. "What were you running from today?" Mom continues chopping vegetables not lifting her head to even look at me. "Um, nothing. Just wanted to run." This is when she stops. She places the knife down on the cutting board and steps back resting against the counter. She always knows when I am lying. I attempt to break the eye contact but Mom stops me. "It has been two months, are you still thinking about Josie?" I look down to the ground at my shoes and nod. "Is she thinking about you?" I nod again. "Then why are you still here in Belgium?" I lift my head, confused at her comment. "What do you mean?" A small smile breaks out on Mom's face. "You are head over heels for this girl. You left to try and move on and it is not working. I don't think it ever will. I have seen how happy she makes you. Whatever your reason was for leaving, I believe you can fix it together. So I will ask you again, why are you still in Belgium with me? I will be fine here without you, Penelope. You can go home." I screw the cap back onto my water bottle before setting it down on the counter. I can go back to my girl. Nothing is keeping me here. "Thank you, Mom." I rush out of my room and begin to pack.
Hope POV-
Lizzie and I are eating dinner that night when I receive a text from Penelope. "I'll be there tomorrow. Please ask Lizzie to find somewhere else to be. Maybe tell Alaric too." Lizzie leans closer to read over my shoulder. "Oh my god, she's coming back? That is great!" I text back quickly. "Will do, see you soon." I turn to Lizzie. "You are welcome to spend the night with me tomorrow." She turns to face me as she pulls me into a hug. "Thanks, Hope."

Josie POV-
Lizzie returns from dinner a little more excited than usual but she doesn't say anything. She gets ready for bed and turns off the light. I decide to change up my routine a little tonight. Once I can hear Lizzie's light snores, I head to the gym to box some. I wrap my hands and hit the bag until I can't feel then any more. When I take off the wraps about an hour later, I notice I split a couple of my knuckles but I couldn't even feel it. They are covered in blood. I walk into the gym bathroom and do my best to wash off the blood before returning to my room. I physically can't stay awake any longer. I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow for the first time in weeks.
Penelope POV-
After my conversation with Mom, I packed my stuff up and booked a flight back to Virginia. I should be able to get back to the school by tomorrow night. "Alright honey, keep me posted. And I expect weekly calls!" I pull my suitcases out of the back of Mom's car. She pulls me into a tight hug. "I love you Penelope. Be safe and say hi to Josie for me." Mom lets go of me after I respond. "I love you, too. I will tell her." I shoot her a smile before grabbing my bags and walking into the airport.
The flight took forever. I tried to stay awake for most of it but I fell asleep a couple of times. I want to adjust back to this time zone hopefully quicker than I did when I first got to Belgium. Alaric called for a car that was waiting for me outside of baggage claim. I look down to my phone. "8:32." Perfect timing. Lizzie should be out of their room so I can talk to Josie.
When we pull up the school, Hope and Lizzie are waiting for me. "Hey P, glad you are back." Hope pulls me into a hug. Lizzie starts to speak as Hope steps back. "We can get your bags, and put them in your room. Go see Josie." I mumble a quiet thank you before jogging inside and up the stairs leading to their room. I don't bother to knock but instead choose to carefully open the door. Josie is laying on her side with her headphones in. She can't see me from this angle. I shut the door behind me and walk over to my side of Josie's bed. The side she still leaves empty. I lower myself down next to Josie and wrap my arm across her stomach. She opens her eyes to look down at the arm now holding her. Josie leans her head back to see me. "Pen?" Tears begin to flood her eyes. "Hey JoJo." She flips over and buries her face into my chest wrapping her arms around my torso. I pull her as close as possible when I roll to my back so that she is laying on top of me. I let her get it all out. When the tears stop running down her cheeks, she lifts her head to look at me. "Why are you here? I, I thought you were in Belgium." She lifts her hand and grazes it across my cheek like she used to do. "You. You are why I am here. I made a mistake leaving you and I am sorry that I hurt you this much. It was never my intention." Josie releases an airy laugh. "I don't think I have ever heard you admit you made a mistake, but we both know this was my fault." I remove one of my hands from her back and lightly jab her side eliciting the cutest squeal from her lips. A serious look crosses her face  as she hesitates to speak. If her face wasn't inches from mine I wouldn't have heard her. "Are you going to leave me again?" Her words break my heart. I did this to her. Hope was right, what I did. It broke her. "I love you, JoJo. I will never leave you again. I promise." A smile fills Josie's face as she leans forward and closes the distance. Oh how much I missed her lips on mine. She pulls away to speak but I am still in shock. It takes me a second to open my eyes. Josie winks at me before leaning down to whisper in my ear. "I love you too, Pen."