Camdyn Grey fanfic

Broken..

- 8:30 pm sunday night.  -
You and Camdyn got back to the house at about 6:30. And Josh was not home,  so you had the house to your selves for a while.
"Wanna watch a movie,  or youtube? "
"I guess youtube.  Only if I get cuddles tho. " you replied as you sat down beside him instantly laying your head on his shoulder. 
"I'm always up for cuddles with you. "
You both laugh it off as the video starts playing on the TV. 
"Ooo Mr. Beast yay!! "
"Haha yeah he always has entertaining videos. "
About 5 minutes into the video there is a knock at the door. 
"I'll get it. " you say as Camdyn pauses the video and you get up to go answer the door.

"Hello I'm officer Perez.  Are you Y/N L/N? "
"Uhh.  Yes am I in trouble?? "
You heart skipped a beat. 
"No,  no trouble here.  But I do have some bad news.  Can I please come in?  You may need to sit down for this.  "
You held the door open and steped aside to let him in,  then sat down beside camdyn as the officer stood in front of the couch. 
"Okay..  Go ahead. " you say as Camdyn holds your hand while half hugging you. 

"Well,  so today at about 4:27 pm.  There was a car crash on I-79 west.  Between a semi truck,  towing wood to the paper factory down that way,  and a beige 2006 toyota Camry. "
You heart stopped.. 
That was Joshes car... 
Your grip tightened on Camdyns hand as you held back the tears. 
"The driver of the toyota,  was a 19 year old white male.  His ID card said his name was Joshua Spark. "
He kept saying the word was..  Why did he keep saying was?!!  But deep down you knew..

"That's my brother...  Is he... Gone... " you burst out into tears as you buried your face into Camdyns chest crying.  He was crying too. 

" I'm sorry for your loss y/n... " you heard his voice break as he spoke.  He had started crying as well.. 
"I will leave you two alone.  Your mother will be notified next,  and will be coming home in the next two days." He stood up and walked out.  You heard his CSR door shut,  but the engine didn't start..  He must have been crying.. 

All you could do was sit there in camdyns arms and cry.  It wasn't just a painful cry.  But a broken heart,  angry cry.  Your brother was the first person you came out to,  the one who got you your first binder,  who helped you come out to mom,  the one who stood up for you when dad yelled,  he was your hero.  Your every thing.  Your world. 
But now...  He's gone...  Forever.. 

"I...   Love y.. You..  Josh... "
You could bearly speak..  You throat hurt so much from crying and your eyes stung..  And you had to gasp for air in between sobs...

"Y/N..   I'm sorry.. " Camdyn said as he held you as close as he could get you.  But its like you had already lost everything... 
You lost your world..  Your best friend..   Your idol...  Your big brother..  The only person who was ever there for you before you met Camdyn.. 

You just felt like you failed... 
You never got to tell him those three words before he died. ..
You never got to say.. 

I love you..