Ah what is this I have no idea

Beginning of this nonsense

You look down, you're holding an expensive piece of china. You wonder to yourself how awfully odd that is. You then notice something place on top of it, a McDonald's hamburger was placed upside down on your plate. It was off center by an inch to the left and missing it's bottom bun. You realize that there's no sesame seeds either, it's just there on your plate. Alongside it was a spoon its handle was facing towards you but you couldn't really tell if it was a handle or not. You then realize that the spoon was in fact double-sided as two identical replicas of the concave surface were attached on either side. Beyond that was a packet of artificial sweetener. It was already half used as it lay open. But instead of powder, you saw individual grains of yellow sand flowing out of the packet. One rolled off the plate as you watched silently, not sure what to think about this situation.

Your eyes started to peer off the plate as you stared at your own hands. One was covered in metal, a complete gauntlet covering it as it reflected the dizzying light off in your face. It held your plate. As you veered to your other hand you could see it being covered in a cat-branded mitten. It was holding a wretch for no apparent reason. You couldn't even feel the weight of it in your hands.

You felt balanced, but more disturbing facts arose as you looked down your body. One of your foot was encased in a glass slipper and the other was covered in a long boot that stretched all the way up your legs. You couldn't feel any socks but you could feel at least four pairs of shorts beneath your long sleeved pants. It couldn't eve. Be called that as one of the sleeves was nonexistent, exposing the layers of shorts below,  the first of which was colored rainbow.

You looked up just a bit further. You were luckily wearing a shirt, but it didn't look like one as an ungodly amount of sticky notes had covered it, all with its own distinct depictions of a bee, ranging from simple to full on detail and colored. You then felt something g on your head. You were wearing a Santa hat filled with bells on the ends, perhaps even a bit too much bells. You smelled the aroma of shampoo, it was placed in top of your hat rather than on your hair. Did you even have hair? You then felt the weight and heat of the huge scarf stuck on your neck, dangling all the way down and folding as it was longer than your body by a mile.

Without preparation, you looked up into the faces of a thousand other people, all staring at you with awe and disbelief. You didn't even have time to notice that your face was painted with glitter. Something was wrong, you couldn't hear the music anymore.

The conductor had stopped, all the players looking at you along with the audience. You then were reminded that you had been attending a classical concert. Your friend was sitting beside you. His face was white with shock, like he had seen the living dead.

"What the hell are you?"