Random x readers

(Aot) eren x reader: Breathe 🌫

⚠️WARNING ⚠️ : this is an angst one shot that mentions ptsd, anxiety, and vomiting. If these topics make you uncomfortable skip ahead.

It was the end of the week, which meant everyone was allowed a break from training tonight and treated to a special dinner. When you first heard the news earlier on in the week you were ecstatic, wanting nothing more than to relax and hangout with your friends. However, now that it was actually happening you wish you were anywhere else but here. This week of training was the hardest you've ever done, constantly pushing yourself over limits you definitely shouldn't have. Staying up late into the night reading and looking for any useful information about the Titans. And waking up so early in the morning that not even Levi and Erwin would be ready for training. So yeah, you were pretty drained.

All because of what happened a month ago. There was a mission you went on with Petra and her group. Everything was fine until the female titan showed up.

-flashback-

"Y/n!" Petra screamed out to you, her voice desperate and pleading.

"keep going!" You shouted before turning your horse around and using your gear to swing by the Female Titan and cut at her ankles. This slowed her down a bit allowing you to catch up with your group.

"Idiot! You could've died!" Petra shouted with a weary smile, you smiled back at her before continuing forward. Levi set off a black flare before giving orders.
"The main objective is to protect eren and make it out of here alive. We've only got a little longer to go until we reach the end of the woods." Just as Levi explained this Petra shouted at him.

"Captain she's gaining on us again, what should we-." before she could finish her body was launched into a tree, her neck snapping upwards as blood splattered on you. Everything slowed down. And as you passed all you could see was the way her neck lifted in an inhumane way. You looked back at her, shock and anger now present on your face. "Keep moving!" Levi shouted to everyone but you refused. You threw yourself off your horse and tumbled to the ground, eager to help Petra.

"Damnit y/n!" He shouted  before ordering eren to go back and get you. You didn't care. You ran over to her, falling to your knees and holding her lifeless body against your own.

"Your okay petra I got you. We're gonna get outta here I swear." You brushed hair out of her face, before lifting her up and putting her on your back. Eren wasn't too far ahead so you jogged towards him and joined him on his horse.

"It's too heavy we'll end up trampled!You have to leave her." He shouted, eyes flitting between you and the female titan running towards you. Your eyebrows furrowed as tears formed in your eyes. "No I'm not leaving her!"

"Y/n she is dead, we can come and get her later but we have to go." His sharp tone made you stop and look down at petra, her eyes now half lidded, blood spilling from her neck. You didn't want to leave her, not like this. If only you had been in her spot she would've been okay. With one last remorseful look you gave Petra's body a tight hug before kissing her forehead and laying her body down. Eren then grabbed your hand and lifted you onto the horse before taking off. As the two of you rode away and caught up to the rest of the squad you found yourself staring back at Petra's body. You felt nothing but guilt as you carried out the mission.

-end of flashback-

As the food was displayed in front of you by other soldiers you began to feel dizzy. The candle lighting making everyone's faces glow a deep reddish orange. Their voices beginning to blur into a low hum. You began to see things, shadows and figures of millions of all the dead scouts. It startled you, making you blink a few times to try and get the image to go away. You looked around and focused on a table of scouts talking and laughing together. One person that stood out to you was a girl with ginger red hair. She resembled your old friend Petra so much. You tried not to think about it but once she turned around you couldn't look away. It was petra. A sad smile graced her lips as she looked to you, holding out her hand.

"P-Petra?" You whispered causing Eren to look over to you. His eyes searching your face for an answer.

"y/n." He nudged you're elbow but you remained still, eyes focused on the girl who was now staring back at you confused. To anyone else they saw just another scout but to you? It was Petra, her brown eyes looking over you with love. She called your name again, her hands beckoning you. When you didn't move her  smile curled into a scowl. She began to scream, her voice hoarse as she reached out to you, her hands thrust forward tears streaming down her cheeks. Blood was flowing from her neck just like that day, he eyes bloodshot red and focused on you.

"Y/N! PLEASE IT HURTS!"

"Petra!" You shrieked before abruptly standing  up, one hand flying over your mouth as the other held onto the table for support. Your outburst causing everyone around you to become quiet, Eren was standing at this point, ready to do anything to help you. If people weren't already staring they certainly were now, especially the girl you though was Petra. Her eyes were widened in fear as your breathing became ragged.

"Y/n, do you need to leave?"He firmly asked before holding your forearm and back. You couldn't answer as you were busy trying to calm yourself down. However you failed miserably when your felt your stomach bubbling. Being unable to hold down the contents of your stomach you limped toward the doors. Eren shot out after you. He had no idea why he did it but he followed closely after you worried that you'd do something risky. He had seen this all before, it's not uncommon for people to panic after they process what they've witnessed and seen. However he couldn't let his thoughts distract him, his mission was making sure you are okay.

You didn't make it far down the hall before lurching over and vomiting on the floor, falling to your knees with a thud. Eren came over to you a second later, crouched down and rubbing your back, trying to coach you through it. If throwing wasn't bad enough chocking on your vomit definitely was. As you sputtered and coughed hot tears rolled down your cheeks. Eren used his thumb to wipe them away whispering soothing words as you finished. You roughly wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.

"Thank you, I'm sorry for that." You croaked while motioning towards the mess on the floor.  He answered with a nod before patting your back a few times. Not really knowing what to do next, he opened his arms and waited for you to come forward. You gave him a look that he couldn't read before burying your head in his chest. The scent of him calming you down while his arm kept you close.

"Your doing great just keep breathing okay? I'm right here, not going anywhere.." instead of his usual loud tone he was fairly quiet and gentle with you. His body rocking slowly back and forth while on arm stayed wrapped around you and the other massaged your scalp. With him holding you tightly you didn't feel like you were crumbling to pieces. The warmth of his body engulfing you made your hiccuping and sobbing turn into soft, shaky breathing. He noticed the change and slowly pulled away, your hand clamped to your chest, fingers intertwined and covering your mouth.

"You'll feel better after a shower, let's get you to your room and see how you feel okay?" You simply nodded and allowed him to help you stand before walking with him to your room. You never saw eren as the type to be good at these kinds of things. He was always so bold and assertive. But after what just happened you made sure to remember this moment going forward in time.You weren't quite sure what this meant for you and him, especially since you don't know him all that well. But one thing is for sure, nothing will be the same after this.