Promise // T A E G I

Did you leave?

Today I had a strange dream.

My kids weren't home and my home was gone. Instead, it seemed like we went back in time to when we first met, we were 13.

¨Give me your pinky, come on,¨ It was like that time, but he was already crying. And it was the first time I could hear his voice in a dream.

¨Taehyung I can hear you! Is it you?¨ But he ignored me.

¨Promise me Yoongi!¨ Taehyung's eyes were red and it only felt right to bring him in for a tight hug letting him cry on my shoulder.

¨Promise me Yoongi, please.¨

I pulled back and kissed his warm cheeks and eyelids, ¨What do you want me to promise Tae?¨

I looked into Taehyung's eyes waiting for a response. Just then I looked deep into his eyes. He looked exhausted and tired. As if he hadn't slept in years. I felt quite shaky then.

It felt as if he was slipping from my hands.

¨Promise me you won't forget everything. Me, you, us. Nothing was ever fake Yoongi. It just never happened in real life.¨

I didn't understand then.

¨Find me.¨ Then I heard Taehyung's parents call him. Never had I paid attention to their calls for their son. But I listened this time,

¨Taehyung let's go home, please! Get up Taehyung.¨ It was odd. I swear I heard a third voice calling him to go home.

The last thing I remember was Taehyung's warm lips melting on mine. A needy sensation that felt like one of the lasts. I tried holding him closer to me. Never in all our dreams did he kiss me like this. Not even at our wedding.

It's weird thinking I experienced anything like that. I grabbed his waist and held it in closer to me, but the closer I pulled him the further I felt his soul leave me.

I woke up that day and never dreamt about him again.

//

¨Yoongi, why haven't you written in your journal? Is there no end yet?¨

My therapist flipped through the endless pages of dreams and experiences I wrote. I hadn't written the last dream I ever had about him. Even remembering hurt me so bad.

It felt like you really left me this time. Sure I'm only 18 now, but I realize it felt like I had spent an eternity with you all in five years of dreams.

I wondered why nobody questioned my dreams or why no one had a similar experience to me. Why did everyone accept that I was just crazy?

¨Yoongi what happened?¨ I looked up at my Therapist and noticed she was kind of mad. She was frustrated, to say the least walking back and forth from her computer to my dream notebook.

It was all very odd. I kind of felt bad for her so I spilled my last dream to her verbally. Never had I seen a person type faster than she was that day.

She sat at her computer writing every detail of my final dream with you. It almost felt invasive, but I had nothing to lose.

When we finished she stood up, sighed, and excused me from her services. That is to say, I no longer was invited to see her again.

//

Twenty. Ever since then, I had no choice but to do life.

It all felt rather useless. I had already experienced love, marriage, children, and so many other things. I didn't feel the need to get a job or go to college but I did.

I felt like I was dreaming when I was awake and when I would sleep it was just a flash of darkness.

I couldn't get you out of my head, I missed your warmth so much.

¨Yoongi! I'm going out today, do you want me to bring you any food?¨ Hobi zipped up his jacket and headed for the door, turning back to get my response.

¨No I'm good, thanks.¨ Hobi smiled before slipping on his glasses and leaving our dorm.

Hoseok is my roommate here in college, and he's honestly the best one I could ask for. He is always polite and minds his own business. He goes out too much and sometimes steals my blankets when he's cold, but I don't mind at all.

Oddly enough he reminds me of my son, Felix.

Holy shit, I had a son.

//

¨Yoongi? Do you want me to take you to the medical center?¨

I woke up to a hot towel on my head and a thousand blankets on me.

Hobi was panicking as he brought me a bowl of ramen.

¨Yoongi! Your awake, thank god. You were freezing and shaking, I got really scared and covered you up and made you soup.¨ I looked around and noticed that Hoseok had plugged a hairdryer into the light socket and had it on the hot setting.

I didn't question it, I had already connected the dots.

¨Are you okay?¨

Hobi waited for my response, but I just smiled. I felt the warmth return to my cold body. I hoped it would be the last time for real.

¨Hobi, I'm fine. Thank you.¨ Hobi nodded

¨I have to go now, do you want food or anything Yoongi?¨ By now I had assumed that Hoseok was either robbing food or just rich enough to offer free meals all the time. Today felt weird, I felt weird. So I just carried it on.

¨Hoseok.¨ Hobi pulled on his jacket and pushed up his glasses.

¨Hmm??¨

¨Can I come with you, please? We can eat together later. I'm free right now.¨