Her death was so sudden and unsuspected. It had happened three and a half years after their marriage.
She had known the danger of being married to a man like Izaya, we all knew it, but it was still a big shock for everyone, when they had heard what had happened.
On the day of the funeral the sky was cloudy and the wind was tearing at our clothes, like it wanted to shake us and ask, why she had had to leave earth so early.
Izaya was silent during most of the reception and he was very pale and looked, like he hadn't gotten any sleep or food in the last couple of days.
I thought about asking him how he was holding up, but figured that it probably wouldn't be a great idea, seeing that it was obvious to anyone who bothered to look.
So I decided to just tell him to just call me, if he ever needs anything. He nodded slightly and thanked me quietly.
I felt like crying, but didn't have any tears left to cry.
The day I had found out about her death I had cried harder than ever before in my life. I felt like I couldn't breath, as sobs wrecked through my body.
Now I just felt empty. Like someone had taken my heart out of my chest.
I stood silently with all her friends and family around the coffin and waited. I didn't know for what exactly and I still don't really know it, but I waited.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I remembered my [B/f] telling me once, that if something ever happened to her, I should take care of Izaya and make sure, and I quote: "that he wouldn't do anything stupid and get himself into more trouble than he normally would."
When two weeks passed and I hadn't heard anything from him, I decided to go to his apartment and make sure that he was doing okay. Well as okay as he could in an situation like this.
When I reached the- his apartment and rang the bell, nobody answered. I waited for a few seconds before I took out the spare key my best friend had given to me and opened the door.
Hesitantly I stepped into his apartment, which was completely in the dark and closed the door. For a few seconds all I could see was pitch black, until I finally found the light switch.
I looked around the room, but he wasn't there. Slowly I walked towards his bedroom door, which was closed and knocked.
I heard the rustling of sheets, but otherwise he remained completely silent. After I debated of wether or not I should enter his room without permission I finally decided to go into his room.
All the curtains were drawn together and Izaya was just laying under the sheets staring lifelessly at the wall.
When he heard me coming in his gaze shifted from the wall to me and he squinted his eyes at the brightness of the light behind of me.
His cheeks were slightly sunken in and he had dark rings under his eyes .
My heart felt like it was squeezed, when I saw the look of utter helplessness in his eyes.
I opened the curtains slightly and when his eyes seemed to have adjusted to the light I gently coaxed him out of the bed and made him sit in the kitchen, while I made him something to eat.
There wasn't a lot in his fridge, but I found enough ingredients to make a halfway decent meal.
At first he seemed reluctant to eat it, but when it became apparent, that I would not back down, he finally surrendered and began to eat.
When he finished eating, I told him to take a shower while I cleaned up and told him to go to sleep afterwards.
He didn't put up much of a fight, which probably had to do with the exhaustion, but right now I was just thankful that he didn't make it more difficult than it had to be.
