Because of that Night (Book 2)

Chapter 36: Zooey

By July, Zooey had grown accustomed to silence. It existed wherever she found herself. Her parents didn't seem to have the energy to fight any longer. In fact, they didn't even seem to have the energy to talk to one another at all. The apartment grew quieter with each passing day, the only sound either coming from the kitchen or the television. They ate meals in silence as the television carried the conversation for them. No one attempted to interject, quite frankly, much like her parents, Zooey felt tired of trying so hard too.

Lila's silence existed whenever Zooey would attempt to talk to her about the environment her home sat within. She knew Lila would never be able to understand, that she was only doing her best to try to, but they both seemed to recognize this just wasn't enough. Lila was still heartbroken over Michael, and Zooey didn't have the time nor the energy to gear up enough words to create a meaningful response to her. Many of their hang outs turned into muted voices, allowing the waves that lay in front of them on the nights they would drive Lila's car down to the parking lot out facing the beach to give their friendship some voice. It was calming and reassuring to the both of them, even as they both recognized a certain distance building between their bodies.

Silence even seemed to exist for Zooey in the one place it should not have even been possible. Though she was surrounded by chattering customers all day long, the lack of communication that hung between she and Seth had a tendency to hold the heaviest weight. Perhaps it was because the summer before, she had at least Seth to turn to when her family life was suffering. He was the only person Zooey felt could not just listen, but actually understand. He was the only person who could look into her soul and not only recognize when she was guarding her heart from truly feeling all that she was feeling but be able to push passed this shield to what the real source of pain was.

He only spoke to her when completely necessary, avoiding her eyes as though they were two strangers passing by each other in the midst of a busy crowd. She wanted him back in her life, but it all seemed broken beyond repair. She wished she could just go up to him and say exactly what she was feeling about the whole thing, knock down the walls that separated them into strangers and help him to recognize they still knew each other and that would never change.

I know that I hurt you, and I can never take that back no matter how many times I say I'm sorry, she thought to say on more than one occasion as they would swerve around each other during morning rushes for coffee orders. But isn't there some way we can get back to who we were before all of this? Is there some way we can recall what made us such great friends in the first place?

Even these thoughts to Zooey sounded like questions that would only continue to be painful, so despite how much she wanted to say them, she couldn't build up the courage. The last thing she wanted to do was push Seth even further away, which though she didn't think this was actually possible, she was sure that he would find a way to do it. And Zooey had been right, he could find other ways. She just hadn't expected for those ways to come to fruition even though she had never put her thoughts into actual words she could speak to him. Yet, here Stephanie Cummings stood, making it possible.

Stephanie Cummings was a year below them, played basketball on the junior varsity team, and always seemed to have a problem keeping her hair under control. Zooey often wondered why she wouldn't just pin it back or throw an elastic around it. Perhaps, Zooey thought, she just simply didn't understand you could wear your hair up in other environments than just the basketball court. She fell in step with people like Katie Bryce, athletic cliques colliding with players who were on both the soccer team and the basketball team. Stephanie Cummings was one of those girls that other people always viewed as being older even though she wasn't. So, despite her only still being on junior varsity, the varsity girls still welcomed her in as though she already belonged with them. When she moved up to varsity for district play, all the girls were thrilled.