Treasure Hunting 101

Chapter XXIII

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Music: Ztar Zanctuary from Super Mario 74 Extreme Edition

It takes less than two minutes from the time Boss London arrives at his team's storage complex, finds his personal unit, and sits at his desk for his phone to ring with good news.

"Boss London, we've finally got something you'll want to hear," Tali says enthusiastically.

"Well, it's about damn time. What happened?" Boss London asks. He takes a sip of his beer and kicks back in his chair, ready to experience a high of ecstasy after an entire day of stress, disappointment, and frustration.

"All eleven of the children that were after the treasure are in our custody. We managed to track them down to a rendezvous point they had set up in their hometown and capture them there. We were unable to find the scientist man, but it is possible that he is out of the picture by now."

Boss London is so excited, he could leap out of his chair and start dancing around the room like a maniac. He keeps his cool, though, and says in as calm of a voice as he can manage, "Wonderful! I knew we could pull through eventually."

"Do you want us to bring them to home base?"

"Yes."

"What will you do to them there? Do you still want them fully eliminated?"

All day, Boss London has gone back and forth about this single question. It would make sense to just go ahead and kill off all of them, since that would ensure that they would never get their hands on the treasure. On the other hand, they are just children, as he's been told several times. While it certainly would help their cause, killing them wouldn't be the best course of action.

"I'm gonna have to say no," he decides. "There are more humane ways for us to get them out of our way."

"Like...?"

Boss London remembers that he hasn't been very open about alternative plans to his spies. He makes a mental note to himself to keep that in mind in case something like this ever comes up again in the future. "I'll talk to you about it later. Just know that once we're through with them, they won't be bothering us anymore."

"Okay then," Tali says, sounding worried.

"Trust me. We'll be able to keep them from getting the treasure, use the artifacts they've found to perform the Ritual of Pude ourselves, and have Kaori's Treasure without anybody having to get hurt," Boss London tells her.

"But how do you anticipate unlocking the treasure?" Tali asks. "We still need the key."

Boss London feels around in his jeans pocket until the familiar feeling of rusty metal reaches his fingertips. "No need to worry. I've got that under control..." he replies mischievously, hanging up and snickering to himself.

Finally, everything seems to be going his way. With luck, everything will continue to go according to plan. Kaori's Treasure will be his, and no one's going to get in his way.

Just as long as there aren't any surprises...

Heath

Music: Last Enemy from Gradius V

I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you've probably never been kidnapped, taken hostage, or held prisoner in your entire life. Because if you have, you probably wouldn't be reading this right now. And if you have and are still somehow reading this... well, then major props to you, I suppose.