Not What I Expected

Part 15

Nicole sat in her car in her driveway. She took a deep breath and brushed the angry tears away as she was overcome with guilt. She hadn't been entirely honest with Chad when she said that nothing had happened between her and Ryan, but at the time she felt like her husband wasn't entitled to her honesty.

Without thinking, Nicole picked up her phone and dialled Chad's number. As she waited for him to pick up the phone, she tried to come up with what she was going to say to him, because she really had no idea what to say.

"I never thought you would want to talk to me again after our appointment," Chad said quietly after answering.

"I wasn't completely honest with you," Nicole stated, her voice cracking slightly with nervousness.

"What are you talking about?" Chad asked, "I don't deserve your honesty..."

"When I told you that nothing happened between me and Ryan...I wasn't honest with you," Nicole said hesitantly.

"Oh..." Chad replied quietly, "It doesn't change anything. I screwed up big time, but I can't help or control my feelings for Anna...Did you sleep with him?"

"No...we kissed a couple times," Nicole replied, feeling horrible inside for stooping to Chad's level, "I know it doesn't change anything, but I thought you should know the truth regardless."

"Thank you for telling me Nic," Chad replied sincerely, "I appreciate it."

"Ok, you're welcome," Nicole replied quickly, "Well I have to go and relieve the babysitter."

Nicole pushed end faster than she could blink and threw it in her purse and leaned her head against the steering wheel. She was exhausted and hungry and her body was shaking. She had had enough for the day and all she wanted to do was cuddle her little boy and then fall asleep.

She lifted her head up and focused in on Ryan's truck, which was parked along the curb outside her house. Her heart was doing little flips in her chest and she was excited to go inside and see him as well. He had offered to pick up Hudson from Beth's house and then bring him home while she went to her appointment. Nicole had more than willingly accepted his offer.

He had been so busy the last couple weeks with the trial that she hadn't seen him since he had come over for dinner. That evening was had been full of happiness and confusion and inward struggle on her part.

Nicole already knew where she and Chad stood on their marriage, but when Ryan came over for dinner the night after they broke the news to her, she and Ryan had been so close to crossing the point of no return. She had felt incredibly guilty, not because it had happened, but because she couldn't even wait until it was formal and her and Chad had said the words...their marriage was over.

Two Weeks Ago

Nicole walked into the living room and smiled when she saw Ryan sitting on her couch with a beer in hand and watching the hockey game. He looked amazing in a brown sweater and a pair of blue jeans that hung loosely on his hips. She tried hard to keep the fact that they were "just friends" at the forefront of her mind, but she was failing miserably.

"Hudson's asleep," Nicole stated with a smile as she sat down on the couch, making a conscious effort to leave enough space between the two of them, "You must've have played him out."

"Well, he certainly played me out," Ryan stated, smiling over at her, "I haven't played like that in quite some time. Emily plays Barbies and board games now, there isn't much rough housing going on when she is at my place."

"He loves you Ryan," Nicole said quietly.

"How do you know?" Ryan asked with a twinkle in his eye.