Living With The Scars

8.Nervous

After our friendly conversation our food arrived and Sam too. We ate while Aryan and sam talked, I mostly remained silent and only talked a little so as not to seem rude.

After lunch, we went and bought other supplies that were left and then left for home. This marked the end of my first outing since the incident that was not to a doctor's office or hospital. It felt good to be out and about, I guess I needed this little step for getting ready for school. I hope my first day tomorrow goes like today too without a hitch. Please god.

" Maira we are home, let's go." Sam's voice bought me out of my reverie.
" Sure. Thanks again Aryan for accompanying us."
" Oh it's OK,not a problem."
We all said our byes and went our ways.
 
"You did great today, you know."
"Going out with someone and not having a panic attack constitutes to doing great. Wow where has life brought me. Remember it used to be hard to keep me inside the house for a whole day. Those days seem like a dream now."  
Just after saying this, i realized I was being a bitch. Sam was genuinely happy for me and i had to spoil it with my negativity. i turned to him and mouthed a 'sorry'. He just came and pulled my hair, that was his form of never mind.

After that little talk, Sam dropped all my stuff in my room and went to his room to get his precious sleep. I should shower and change my bandages now, so that i don't have to get up early tomorrow.After one and a half hour i was done with all the bath time rituals, which have left me really tired. I think i will eat in my room today, i have no energy left. So i called in the kitchen through the landline and told the maid to send my dinner in my room. 

I went to the balcony for the meantime to have some fresh air. 

" Hey, where are you lost, i have been knocking at your door for the last five minutes. Are you okay? Did something happen today at the mall to upset you?"
"Nah vi, I am just tired and a little bit nervous for tomorrow."

" oh don't be. you are going to do great. just take today for example, you went out that too with a stranger."

" i guess you are right. it felt great to be out again. i felt somewhat normal. also i think this outing was very important before school. i needed the confidence and assurance."

"you don't have to be strong and confident all the time, rely on me, on all of us. take it step by step, even if they are baby. okay."

"pssssh too much mush. i am hungry, give me my food and go sleep you have college tomorrow."

" nah i will give you company and its not that late anyway"

"give company as in watch me eat like a creep ,no thanks for that honor. don't worry i will be fine. i will just eat, take medicines and go straight to bed. so gooooo."

" you are weird. who wants to watch you anyway you look like a monkey while eating."

"ohhhhh, out of this monkey's room now. you are banished." i dramatically said this while pushing him out of my room. after throwing him out of my room, i closed the door on his face before he could he say anything else. 

"don't forget your medicines monkey" he shouted through the door.

" ughhhh, just leave." i said trying to sound annoyed but could not help but smile. 

i am so thankful for giving me such an understanding and loving family. i don't know what i would do without them especially now. i should at least be confident in them if not in myself and stop overthinking  about tomorrow. how bad can it be? so samaira relax .now i should hurry up and get ready to sleep ,cause i have to get up early tomorrow. ughgghghghg