why me! - thiam

v. real life! + snapchat!

Theo sighed. He didn't even know why it bothered him. (Actually yes, he did, he did know why it bothered him. It bothered him because Liam wasn't denying anything and that was giving him hope and now he wants to scream because his mind thinks it can just imagine certain things, and no it can't because Theo would like to still be able to look Liam in the face after everything, so mind, if you don't mind, roll back the fantasies.) 

But like, he knew Mason and Corey were just messing with him by calling Liam his boyfriend. It was a joke, ha-ha. Liam and Theo spend so much time together, they're like married, ha-ha. They live together, ha-ha. It wasn't funny, because Theo actually wanted Liam to be his boyfriend. He wasn't the one usually to develop feelings, but this time they hit him like a truck. The distance made absolutely no difference, because he was crushing harder than ever. Why was everything so hard? He finally got rid of the Doctors, left Hell, survived the fucking Wild Hund, but no, the universe just likes messing with him. He had to start developing feelings for a certain werewolf. And it wasn't helping that Liam was completely open and relaxed with him. He hugged him, touched him, held his hand, and Theo almost died every time he did that. He was lucky Liam couldn't read his chemo-signals, because boy oh boy, he'd be fucked. 

It didn't make sense. Nothing ever made sense with Theo, apparently. How was he able to be so in love with the damn werewolf? It wasn't like boys were ever on his repertoire. He wasn't complaining, but it did make things harder, because Liam wasn't gay. Well Theo wasn't hundred per cent certain in that, but he still didn't feel like pushing that limit and finding out the hard way that he wasn't gay and losing him because Liam can't be friends with someone who's in love with him, right?

Aaand he was panicking. Shit, fuck, shit. Why did he have to be so problematic and complicated? At least he didn't have these problems in London. 

"Theo?" Jenna spoke softly, knocking on his open door. Theo was lying on the bed, deep in thought.

"Oh, hey. What's up?" he quickly sat up.

"You look lost. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, fine. Don't worry about it. Still jetlagged, I guess."

She frowned. Entering his bedroom, she walked over to him sitting next to him on the bed. "It's been over a week since you came back." She gave him a pointed look. "You don't look fine. Is everything okay?"

He wanted to tell her. But how was he going to tell Liam's mother that he's in love with her son? Has anyone ever been in that situation? How would that go? Oh, yes, Jenna, I'm deeply in love with your straight son. Any advice? What if she gets mad at him? What if she hates him after that? Jenna was the closest thing he had to a mother, he didn't want to lose her. It would break him. Especially if it meant losing Liam in the process.

"Yeah, just a lot on my mind."

She pursed her lips. "You look lovesick."

He looked at her. How did she know? Is this some sort of superpower mothers have? 

"Liam looked the same for the first few weeks after you left."

Oh. Why did Liam look lovesick? Was it Hayden? It must've been Hayden.

"Why? Did Hayden come back?"

"Hayden? No, it was because you left. After you texted him that you're leaving, he... I don't know if I'm allowed to say this. He just didn't take it well, that's all. After his dad left him, he doesn't take well when people leave."

What did she mean by that? Did he really hurt Liam that much? "But he said he was fine. He said he expected me to leave. I didn't know his dad left."