Mind Games

Chapter One - Is This Your Card

Opening Speech

I, Ramond Speedy Wally Massachusetts the Third, Massy for short or Speedy for short but I ain't Green Arrow's sidekick. I'm just a normal boy with magical powers. Which would that make me abnormale? I don't know all this technical stuff is confusing. I can't shoot lazors out of my anus, ass for you mature people out there, or is it immature? This technical stuff I tell you! I'm not a hero, here let me repeat that for you I'M NOT A HERO  I'm an immature brat, or am I mature? Here I'll let you find out my faithful reader, you read my story, you come to your own conclusion, am I hero? Or am I an ass for hire? Anus for you mature people or immature... Am I confussing you? I hope not because I, for sure, am confused, I need someone to help me unconfuse me. I mean you can talk through the computer screen right... Wait this could be printed off and used for evil! I should start my story before you guys decide to kill me. 

December 15th 2014

I have been working at Supreme-Mart for two months now. The pay is rude and the people are stinky, wait I said... wrote that wrong... The pay is stinky and the people are rude. There are no restroom breaks, you just stick this thing up into your pee-hole and pee that way. Okay, okay thats illegal, there are pee-breaks just not a lot and I seem to have to pee a lot, or maybe I just want to get away from my cash register to scroll through my BookFace feed. Funny stuff on there, crazy people. Well, my phone is always out. When someone walks through the checkout, and they look like trash. I take a picture of them and post it on a website. Yes I'm sneaky and I'm a dirty-girty, but what are you going to do about it? Tell my manager, you'll be doing me a favor. I lack the incentive to walk into the office and take my nametag and pin it to his nose. I applied to work in the electronics, but they put me up here and my neighbor cashier is a regular Beelzebub. She's an old hag who likes to watch me and when I make mistakes she sticks her old wrinkly nose up my ass and tells me I'm doing it wrong. Yeah lady just watch next time you question how I do something I'm going to stick my size twelves right up your... "Will that be cash or credit?" The hag just gose back to her ringing up. She thinks that since she had been here since the doors opened that she knows everything and that she can't get fired. Well she will get fired, mark my bloody words, and I ain't going to leave until she does. Now I'm leaning against the case of cigarettes. Watching people walk by, they were eyeing me. Sceptical huh? Then a guy, long jet black hair came walking up to me. He was holding a giant bag, I supposed it could've been a bag-body... I mean body-bag, but it looked like it would hole a rifle. My first bet was that he was there to kill me for putting a dent into the Mustang he had parked out in the parking lot. Not my fault, he was parked in my space, I couldn't see the little car in my vehicle. Or could I? But no he wasn't going to kill me, but was he going to use my space as a good vantage point to kill the hag? Have at it would be all I'd say. Then he walked up to me. "Here there fellow" he said to me with a smug and happy grin. "My name is Larry, would you like to buy a potato?" 

"Sorry sir" I said glaring at the hag who was glaring at me. "I'm not allowed to take solicitations, and even if I did I wouldn't take a potato." 

"I didn't say take I said buy." The man nammed Larry said with the same smug grin that was starting to get creepy. "Hey how about this" the guy said. "You say what the thing is standing behind you and I'll tell you your wrong. If I'm right then I'll teach you how to do what I just did after pocking you between the eyes, and sonny you'll be wrong. All you'll have to do is buy a potato." 

"Okay you're on and I know what is behind me, why it is pack of cigarettes, it isn't that hard." 

"Now" the guy said "Let me tell you why your wrong." He smiled at me. "You are not standing in front of packs of cigarettes you are standing in front of dried pineapples." Pineapples?