𝗕𝗢𝗥𝗗𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗘/DISCONTINUED

day one|day two

I head down the block at night as my mind races with thoughts i can't seem to stop thinking of. i head around the block on my way to pick up a few beers for my father before he came home and their were none.

you should kill yourself tonight instead of later on in the month

i go inside going to the back and picking out the brand he likes and heads to the cash register to pay. i soon turn around to see zach and a few of his friends walk inside behind him.

i slowly glance away as he glances at me and i start to head out, but he grabs my arm and i wince in pain. "what do you want zach" i groan as i glance over at the door wishing he would just let me leave.

"we never discussed properly about the project that we are going to do as partners" zach replies as his friends go off finding some snacks to buy.

i roll my eyes softly in annoyance, "i told you i'll do it forget about it" i reply as he glances away and back at me.

"look railee let me just help with the project not that big of a deal. my house tomorrow after school no questions ask i'll drive you there" zach says meaning every word.

"fine, but don't think for a second you're going to get into my pants like you do to the rest of the student body" i say as i rip my wrist away from his hold and head out the door.

HA like he would you're hideous he wouldn't even dream of trying to get into your pants

I head back home opening the front door and i go over to the kitchen opening the fridge. i place the beers in the fridge and start heading upstairs and as soon as my father comes in through the front door i enter my bedroom not wanting to see him.

i plop on my bed and grab my notebook as i finish off the night finishing off the rest of my suicide plan. i don't even care about homework anymore because like what's the point my grades won't matter after i'm gone for good.

i honestly can't wait to end it all i hate my life. I place my book away and lay back in bed and just started to think a lot again as the tears started to pour out my eyes.

why was everything in my life so hard and why am i always so alone in everything. i need someone to talk to, but who cares about me enough to hear me out.

I soon roll over and cry myself to sleep as the hours passed by while i was asleep and night soon turned to day and i had to get up and do everything i did yesterday all over.

I grabbed my clothes and put them on as i head towards the mirror. i comb my fingers through the strands of my hair downwards as i look at myself in the mirror.

i thought finally i looked ok at least in the skinny black knee slit jeans and grey nasa tee.

you're getting fat though
no one likes a fat ass
are you fucking blind you look gross and outrageously ugly

I reach for my hoodie and slip it on over my shoulders as i head out my room slipping on my backpack. i head down the steps skipping breakfast again because i didn't want to gain any weight.

you're walking weird
you're not walking right
people are looking
are you slouching
people are staring at you i bet

i nervously walk inside the school building once i get there and head to my locker successfully opening it up after a few tries. in the corner of my eye i see zach herron making his way over to me, "morning princess" zach says giving me his well-know award winning smile as i roll my eyes and make my way around him.

"wait up" he yells from behind me as he soon catches up, "what do you want zachary" i reply as he sighs a little.

"first off it's zach and second nothing much i just wanted to ask you what's your favorite hobbies .. you know i got to get to know you and i already wanted to start sooo i need to know you hobbies" zach replies as he works on getting some pencil and a notebook out of his book bag.

i stop a little and smile a little weakly, but i wipe it away because i know that right after he gets his A i don't exist to him in this world and technically i won't soon. "i don't have any write that" i reply as i start heading to class again.

"come on have to have at least ONE hobby" zach says as i start to think.

you're boring
just lie not like he's
going to know

"yeah well congratulations you met someone without a hobby" i say before walking faster ahead and heading into my class as i make my way to my seat in the back.

•zach•

releasing a soft sigh as i watch "this is going to be harder than i thought" i mutter to my self as i groan closing my book and heading off to my class.