Overpowered, overpowered by grief, grief that doesn't automatically disappear, it is submerged in the depths of my empty heart, shallow soul and conflicted life. I see her fragile body laying there, she is so close yet so far, I yearn to be able to hold her lightly and kiss her clumsily on her soft warm lips one more time.
Her laughter haunting me, an echo in the distance. The smile on her face judging me. But it's only an empty shell. A shell full of never ending darkness, little specks of light floating dauntily about, burning every last ounce of joy. I take a step forward into this abyss of nightmares. I am being stalked by my own threatening thoughts, I am the unknowing prey and they the relentless predator. She's the predator.
Oblivious we all are, until it's lurking within the darkness with a dry smirk underneath its blank eyes, it cannot be bluffed now, you either give up or give in. An unforeseeable future is the worst friend to have, it keeps you content but when you pull back the curtain of unconsciousness, the truth whips out at you, your course is no longer desired. What is desire? It's not fate, it's not perfect, it's just want and greed.
Poison spreads like ink on crisp paper, perfectly until you accidentally slip and there it goes again, yet another mistake, yet another strong dose of pain. Once its there you try to cover it up, hide it behind a layer of white and black lies, you say its nothing. But how is it nothing. You try and make everything perfect, whats so perfect about hiding?
No matter how hard I try its stained my impure heart and your pure blood. Staggering forward i feel it grasp my heart yet again as i fall down onto my knees in agony, i was blinded by bitter love and now I'm blinded by an aggravating heartache. It throws me around forcefully as the voices start, back and forth they start to play a game of ping pong.
I tried to save you from yourself, but you had been already fighting for too long. All the nights i held you close did you wish for a sweet release into the depths of silence? Failure is unavoidable, you couldn't avoid me so i pushed you further and further away, you were as delicate as a porcelain doll but as strong as iron, i unintentionally knocked you angrily further down into the eager ground until the pressure cracked you.
My attention is dragged to the opposition for a second before it flies quickly back to the first set of indistinct voices, the sharp words blurring into one soft chain of noises. The darkness leeps forward and picks up my limp vulnerable body as it stares at me, its eyes dead and expressionless, before it swallows me whole . And then there was silence. Finally. But not for long.
