The Sky Is F@#$ing Purple

Chapter 4: Dead Weight

"WH- THE FU--- Oh. F... fuck...".

God I hate waking up from extremely vivid and abstract dreams. AND I was falling down at the end. Its never very fun to wake up from a dream as you're falling down in said dream. Why the fuck was I a butterfly!? And... I don't remember anything else. Fantastic. At the very least, I get to wake up to the cute melody of the Discord call sound.

"Hello I am here to take you to prison for committing inexcusable war crimes during the Afghanistan conflicts", Kyle says in the call.

"Good morning to you too, asshat. What do you want?".

"Wanna play HoF?", he asks. I can practically hear him smile as he says it.

"C'mon man... I can't play Hammer of Fury now... Its 6 the morning...".

"Its 1 PM!!! Get your shit together". He audibly 'ugh's at me. Shock overtakes me for a moment as I glance at the clock on my radio, it already after noon! I really dislike wasting time on the weekend. I'd rather do something fun or "productive". Like makeup! And watching the bugs on the tree outside! That's at least more fun than laying around.

In the moment before I deny his request, an idea pops into my head. "Kyle, who's the main character of Hammer of Fury?". He laughs, almost in second-hand embarrassment, "Seriously? Obviously Hammerhead Hawk! Why?"

So the game didn't change. God I hate how crazy I sound doing this. Its so annoying. But I have to ask. I need to know... what other power do I have over this fucking situation? "O-oh okay... Nevermind", I whine out.

If I could see him right now, I'm sure he's be making a look of absolute confusion. "You good man?", he asks, with genuine concern. I don't even really know what to say. I hate lying but if I'm honest, I'll sound like even more of a crazy person. God, maybe I never should have told them... There wasn't any real reason to anyway.

"Yeah. I'm fine just... a little stressed".

"O-oh, okay", he answers. I can practically hear him frown as he says it. "Well. hey! If you feel up to it, me and Ah-dee were gonna play Hammer later anyway. Just let me know if I should add you later!".

I smile, "Thanks Kye. I rea-- Wait, did you just call Aadiv 'Ah-dee'???".

He laughs hard, so close to his microphone that the sound distorts. It sounds like a typhoon over there. "PFFFT. HAHhah, yeah man, cuz' that's his name!". I'm taken aback in utter disbelief as he says that. I'm totally snitching to Aadiv about what this hooligan just said to me.

"Thanks man. See you later".

"Yeah, totally. Feel better soon!!". He hangs up the call.

I'm left alone on my bed hearing nothing but birds and wind. The glow from the window paints a pretty striped pattern on the floor, illuminating all of the dust particles on my circular rug. My blanket floats a little as I toss it off of my body, and plod down the hallway to the bathroom.

"Good morning sleepy head!", my mom yells out from the living room. "Hey mom!", I try to yell back with the same enthusiasm.

"I got some VooDoos donuts in the kitchen if you want", she says, cheerfully. "I actually manage to smile a bit, "Heck yeah!! Thanks mom!". Though some sugar and carbs sound absolutely amazing right now, I need a hot shower...

The doorknob to the bathroom clicks as I pull the door open, the light from the window being transformed by the weird violet sky, looming over me from outside. I really wish we lived on one of those weird homes, with curtains over the bathroom window. I guess I won't really notice it with shampoo and soap all in my eyes.

Jesus, its really annoying to wash yourself when you hate looking at your own body. When I stepped on to the ceramic floor of the bathtub to start the shower, I wasn't instantly brought into a state of ease like I hoped. Instead, a cold shiver went up my entire body from my feet. Now that the warm water is actually pouring down over me, all the tension that built up in my muscles melted away.

My body feels calm, even though In my mind I feel totally disconnected; I'm off in a fairy-tale land constantly thinking about everything that just happened to me. Forget the soap in my eyes, I can barley see anything from the steam in my face.

I want to go back. I miss my old universe. Haven't I been making that clear enough? Whenever I talk to my friends... I know its still them. Maxine is the same cheerful girl that I've known since 5th grade. Kyle is his same old snarky asshole self. Yet... In the back of my mind, some part of me is forcing me to see them as imposters. Is that how they see me?

To an extent, I'm an alien. I'm technically from another planet, another Earth. So I'm an imposter. Right? Its hard to describe how much I hate this thought process. "They're still my friends...", I say to myself, my voice being disrupted by the water falling over my mouth. I've heard people say its hard to know if you're crying when your whole face is wet.

Maybe there's no good reason to be upset. The fact is, the only real 'control' I have over this situation... is knowing what exactly changed when I turned up in this universe. That control being just out of reach is what drives me to try so hard to learn more and more. It can't count as learning if its almost guaranteed to be exactly the same.

My pruning fingers scratch into my hair for just a bit longer, before my hair is fully rinsed. My body is covered in razor burns, but I don't care. I have more important things to worry about. Like making a new video for my TikTok, that'd be fun! I haven't done that in a while.

. . .

As I finish blow-drying my hair, I lay my arsenal of hair brushes on my bed. I have 4, which is way more than any normal boy would have. When my hair is totally dry, I brush through it with... all of them. It feels almost euphoric to brush it smooth, feeling it pull out some damaged bits, and making it smooth and soft...

I don't really think about why I put on makeup and take such good care of my hair that often. Its just kind of a part of me now. When I was 13, I saw a Youtube video of a girl putting on makeup. At first I thought it was just super gay (like any normal 13 year old boy), and clicked off. But I went back for some reason, I thought she was really pretty. And for some reason, I wanted to try it. I was just naturally drawn to it.

Maxine and I were in elementary school in 5th grade together. When I told her that I kind of wanted to try makeup, she just smiled and took out her little makeup kit from her backpack. Her mom must have been a professional or something, because she knew how to do makeup flawlessly.

She ended up giving me a full face of makeup. I was so exited when I saw myself in the mirror! Sure, I got bullied to hell and back for it, but I felt like a princess! For the last few months of 5th grade, everyone called me Jolene, after that Dolly Parton song I assume. That's when I learned how to embrace being different.

I know that I'm a man who wears makeup and acts girly. I own it! Its just who I am. Sometimes I even get uncomfortable without makeup.

Anyway, it's time to finally make that TikTok vid. Now that my look is flawless, I open my profile and skim through the videos. They range from close up videos of my eyes, to me mimicking one of the new trends on the app. The little thumbnails on each one all show how many likes they have, all around 10 thousand. Yeah, I got that "clout".

I scroll down a bit further when I notice something that startles me. The videos I recorded of myself... the sky is purple even there. Tapping the screen to open the video, I watch myself dance to some generic pop music outside. The movements that I did seem exactly the same as I remember them. Just the sky is different. I shouldn't be surprised, but now that just confirms that I was the only thing to change to this universe.

Even the phone I'm holding in my hand right now is 'native' to this universe. Does this mean the clothing I'm wearing is too? Its just... me. And Venus. How romantic. I guess deleting them wouldn't really help anyone, I might as well just forget about this for a while... That usually works, right?