Paralyzed | Malec

Chapter 26

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Chris still pierced his eyes into mine. He was still angry, so angry that I mentioned this but everything that lied underneath the surface was his pain and guilt.

He felt responsible for Erica's death and I could imagine why. If it would happen to me, I don't know what I would have done. I sure as hell wouldn't be strong enough as him to pull myself together and fulfil my responsibilities.

Chris looked away from me and walked off. I felt guilty for making him relive this whole situation of him. It is horrible... I was horrible. I just looked at Chris who walked towards his cousins.

"Is everything okay?" I heard Samuel say and I jumped a little. I chuckled as I looked at him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Samuel said with a smile and I just shook my head.

"It's fine and everything is okay." I replied back to his question. I could see that Samuel didn't believe me but what was I meant to say? Oh I reminded Chris about his first love death's. It would pin point me like a horrible person. Maybe I was...

"Are you sure? The conversation between you and Chris seemed rather intimidating." Samuel said and I just nodded.

"You know how he can get." I said and chuckled softly at the end of my sentence. I felt horrible for putting the guilt on him. Especially when it was my fault.

"Don't let him get to you." Samuel said and I just nodded. He gave me a side hug and then walked over to his brother and cousins.

Just looking how they had their own small family made me miss my mother even more. I didn't have a big family and I have always wanted that but now the only person that I counted as family is missing. It feels like my whole life is falling apart. It was dreadful.

Alexis waved at me and I just gave her a small smile. I turned myself around and looked up at the sky as I felt some tears burning in my eyes.

"I miss you mum." I whispered softly and closed my eyes as some tears escaped my eyes. When I opened them again, I saw little stars shining.

I chuckled softly throughout my tears. Whenever I would be upset, mum used to tell me to look up in the sky and see the small little starts shining. She always told me that they were so up in the sky and away from one another but still seemed to be so happy and bright that they could lighten up the whole sky.

She told me that I was hers and she was mine. My heart ached just remembering her. It would have been so much easier if I knew how she was or where she was. It would have made me feel a little bit at ease just knowing if she was alive.

"I will get you back. I promise." I said as I still kept on looking up.

"Ella, the ambulance is here. Let's get back to the institute." I heard Alexis shout and I just looked beside me as I nodded.

I wiped away my tears and turned myself around. I walked towards the others, just a little bit behind them. At this point, Chris wasn't even talking to his brothers or cousins. He was just apart from the group, looking like he was thinking about something.

Thinking about what I have said to him. I was such an idiot. What was I even thinking? I knew he wouldn't take it well. I sighed deep and loud. Everyone looked at me confused.

"Are you okay?" Charlotte asked and I nodded without even looking at her. I didn't knew if she even liked me. In some way she was just like her cousin Chris but I highly doubt a tragedy happened to her like it did to Chris.

"Why wouldn't she be?" Chris asked out of the sudden and I felt my heart tighten. I just hoped he wouldn't mention anything that would make the whole situation worse.

"Chill out." I said and just walked ahead of them. I know I shouldn't be showing attitude but I wasn't in the mood of arguing with anyone. I heard Chris chuckle and I sighed.

This was going to escalate.

"Says the one that dares mentioning Erica." Chris said and I heard few gasping. I stopped walking and sighed again. I turned myself around and looked at all of them.

This was the very moment that everyone was going to hate me or at least try to.

"Why would you do that?" I heard Charlotte ask. Alexis was looking down, guilty. I didn't wanted to look at her to show them that she was the person that told me about this.

"I didn't mean to hurt him or make him think about her. I wanted to just let him know that I would be there for him." I said and Chris started laughing.

"I don't need your sympathy." Chris said and walked past me, hitting my shoulder slightly. I sighed and closed my eyes.

I get why he is mad at me but no one else should try getting involved in this. This was between me and him.

"Ella, I know you meant well but this... You shouldn't have done it." Samuel said a bit disappointed which made me feel even worse. I already felt guilty enough about so much and this wasn't helping.

I looked down and just nodded. I turned myself around and made my way towards the institute. When I finally arrived I saw my father waiting.

"You are okay." He said with a sigh. He looked relieved seeing me stand in front of him. I just gave him a weak smile.

"Alec is making dinner and we are having it in his room. So join us." He said and I nodded.

"Yes, let me just go freshen up." I said and he nodded. I walked towards my room and with a big sigh I closed the door behind me.

"Maybe this was all because of me and I don't know if I can take it all, mother." I said softly as I let my hand go through my hair.

I sighed again and quickly jumped in the shower. I felt numb. Really numb. Just like I did when my mother disappeared. Maybe this feeling was getting more day by day. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. It was like there was a block that prevented me from crying.

When I got out of the shower, I put some comfortable clothes on and with my wet hair, I made my way towards my father's room. As soon as I reached the door, I could smell and feel the warmth of food. I was hungry and not hungry at the same time.

Was that even possible? It was if you ask me... The impossible becomes a possibility.

I opened the door and saw both my fathers waiting for me at the table. I was glad that I had them with me. They made me feel more secure but the numb feeling was still eating me away... even though they were still with me and even this made me feel guilty.

I felt like a horrible person. I was...

"It smells nice." I complemented my father and he smiled.

"Watch until you taste it." My father said and I saw Alec giving my father a side look. I chuckled softly and sat down.

My father put a plate in front of me with some food on it. It was rice and chicken. Something casual but somehow dad made it look so good. I we that even possible? It was...

I looked at my food and felt my eyes tearing up. I started to sob softly. Both my fathers looked up and without even saying something, they both hugged me. This is what made me cry even more. Maybe I needed this...

A hug and a cry...