Secret Love

11

August 12, 1993

To Stevie, it seemed like her pregnancy was flying by. She was now in her 20th week, and they had the gender ultrasound that morning. Lindsey, however, couldn't attend because he was at a staff meeting. She had noticed something about Lindsey though when her belly made its appearance he started distancing himself. Up until that point, he had been practically spending the night with her but when the belly became known he want back to only spending the weekends with her and it hurt. She didn't know why she didn't know what she did but she didn't like it whatever it was. 

She had joined Lindsey at the staff fourth of July party so as she was walking around the hospital she'd stop and make small talk with his coworkers until she got to Gretchen. Gretchen smiled and gave her a hug and she gave her the okay to head to Lindsey's office. He was standing outside his door shaking a man's hand who smiled at Stevie and as he was going to let the woman sitting on the bench in her saw her and made a face. 

"Agh, Janis I'll just be a minute. You can go on in." He motions with his head.

"Okay, Dr. Buckingham." The woman disappears and Lindsey pulls Stevie to the side. 

"What are you doing here?" He asks.

"I just got back from my appointment and I wanted to talk to you." Stevie shrugs.

"Stevie, you can't just show up at my job like this." He scolds her.

"But I..." She starts.

"Whatever you have to tell me can wait. Now, I've got a patient. I'll talk to you later." He kisses her head. 

As he's walking back into his office she hears him, 'Sorry it was a former patient' and she burst into tears and practically sprinted out of the hospital.

***

She doesn't go to their Friday lunch meeting and when he calls she doesn't answer the phone. She's in the room that's going to be the nursery with her hair pulled back in a ponytail, a purple v-neck teeshirt on and a pair of black stretchy pants on. She was looking back at the wall when she heard him enter the nursery.

"What are you doing in here?" He questions.

"Picking paint colors...why are you here?" She retorts. 

"It's Friday...I always spend Friday with you and I was worried. You haven't been answering my calls and you didn't show up at lunch." He tells her.

"Oh but see, I'm just a former patient." She grits her teeth still not looking at his face.

"You heard that..." he sighs.

"Yes, I fucking heard it...I'm not deaf." She growls.

"Look, I'm trying to keep our relationship a secret. Hell, I didn't even want to bring you to the fourth of July thing." Lindsey states.

"Why because I'm a former patient and you're ashamed of me?" She spits.

"Yes and No...I am not ashamed of you, you're fucking Stevie Nicks for crying out loud. I should be flaunting you but you are a former patient and I don't want people to get the wrong idea is all." He sighs.

"Well anyway, tell me what paint color you like and then get the fuck out." She points.

"I like the gray one. Why do I have to leave?" He asks.

"I'm just a patient." She smirks walking out of the nursery and flicking the light switch off.

"Stop it, you know you're more than that." He tells her.

"Am I...well Janis at least thinks I'm a former patient. But anyway, I have plans so goodbye." She waves as a car honks out front. 

***

Lindsey doesn't leave her house he makes himself right at home and as he's getting ready to call it a night around 10:30 he spies the ultrasound on the mirror. He sighs and makes his way over to it and he reads the little note that Stevie had written on the white part. 

You're a baby girl.

He sat at her vanity and just looked at it, his hand at his mouth. That's why she had samples of pink, purple, peach, mint, and gray on the wall. He tucks the ultrasound back in its place and crawls into the king-sized bed. Luna and Sulamith curl up at his feet and then as he's laying there all he can see a petite little girl with blonde hair and brown eyes just like her mother. He can see her in a little pink tutu dancing on a stage, he can see her as a girl scout, he can see her swimming, he can see the beautiful young lady she turns into and all of a sudden he can see her as that sweet sixteen years old going to her first homecoming dance and he sees her with a boy and his blood boils. No, his little baby girl wasn't allowed to date until he dies. 

When Stevie gets home she rolls her eyes when she sees Lindsey's boots still sitting by the door but she locks everything up and makes her way upstairs. He's snoring in the bed and she sighs before changing into her ruby red nightgown and crawling under the covers with him. He's on call, on Saturday and Sunday so she makes sure that his cellphone is turned on and is sitting on his nightstand instead of on the coffee table in his room where she knows he normally leaves it and then she closes her eyes. 

What seems to be a few hours later, she can feel a light pressure on her stomach and she has to stop herself from smiling at the words leaving his mouth.

"Alright baby girl...listen to what daddy has to tell you, you are not allowed to start dating until either I die or you turn 50 whatever comes first. I know how teenage boys think and you are not to associate with any of them. Do you understand little girl." 

"You know, she is my child and if you stop her from dating she's just going to sneak around like I did." Stevie sighs.

"You weren't allowed to date?" Lindsey looks up at her.

"Well I was, but only on Friday nights and I couldn't be out later than eight. My mother kept me very sheltered. But then again it was the sixties." She tells him.

"I'm sorry about how I acted. All you wanted to do was tell me that it was a little girl and I shouldn't have blown up on you like that." 

"You're right...and from now on I want you to refer to me as your significant other, not just a former patient. I want to forget the hellish way this year started and I want to focus on the joyous way it's ending understood?" She asks.

"I understand." He kisses her stomach and then he kisses her.

"Alright, let's get some more sleep...momma's tired." She yawns nuzzling back down into the pillows.