Secret Love

29

That night when Lindsey gets home, Stevie's putting the finishing touches on the Ceasar salad she had made. 

"Get in the shower, we can talk over dinner. I'm making homemade croutons and they should be done by the time you get out." She demands cutting up the chicken really small and to put on her daughter's little plate. She had grown out of the high chair and was now sitting in a booster seat at the table and she was mostly eating by herself with a baby spoon or fork. 

When Lindsey came down the stairs, she was trying and failing miserably at trying to pick Isabella up off of the floor and Lindsey ended up swooping down and getting her situated. 

"Here's your fork." Stevie held it out to Bella who grabbed it with her right hand. "And your food." Stevie smiles putting the small plate of chicken, cooked carrots, and some plain small shell noodles in front of her.

"Stevie, I'm sorry about last night. Really I am." Lindsey looks at her.

"Lindsey, you revealed a lot to me last night and I'm not sure I know how to feel about it. I understand that you're still in love with Kristen. I mean if she hadn't have died we wouldn't be together. But why did you marry me if you weren't in love with me?" She asks.

"The truth is Stevie, I am in love with you. Your smile lights up my whole day when you sing it makes me happy. The fact that I got to meet and marry my idol is something I could only dream of and then when it happened it was so sudden and so surreal it was like a slap in the face. When you're not with me I don't sleep very well, I don't want to look back in twenty or thirty years and wonder who you're married to. I don't want to breathe when you're not with me. But you have to understand that it's hard for me to admit because I felt the same way with Kristen and I feel like I'm betraying her. But god Steph, you're it for me." Lindsey sighs stabbing at his salad and bringing his fork to his mouth. 

"Lindsey...I want to make this very clear to you. I want you to go see a Therapist. I've done all I can to try and help you with the way that you're feeling and I know you have two degrees in psychology but you really need to go see one. Promise me, Lindsey, that you'll go see one." Stevie grabs his hand.

"I'll think about it." He sighs.

"No, don't think about it do it," Stevie demands. 

"Lindsey." She warns.

He just sighs but nods. 

"Thank you. I love you." Stevie reaches over the table and grabs at his hand. 

"I love you too." He sighs.

***

May 26, 1995

She woke up on her 47th, to the sun streaming in through the window instead of the obnoxious ringing of her husband's alarm. She still hasn't put her wedding rings back on but they were sitting right on her nightstand. 

She sat up and looked at his alarm clock and gawked at the 10:30 time and shot out of bed. She quickly showered and changed into a pair of maternity jeans and a black chiffon tank top. She made her way into Bella's room as quick as she could and looked around and started to panic she had no idea where her fifteen-month-old was. At 33 weeks pregnant she didn't want to chance anything so she slowly made her way down the stairs and then she let out a sigh of relief when she saw Bella and Lindsey playing in the backyard with a ball. 

"Lindsey, why aren't you at work?" She calls stepping onto the patio.

"Because it's your birthday and I took the day off. We're going to lunch and then the park and then we're coming back here and having cake and ice cream." Lindsey explains.