Naruto various/Akatsuki Lemons & stories [REQUESTS CLOSED]

•That's what she said: Hidan x reader one shot•

There's no lemon in this one, but I can write a part 2!

It was a nice day today, everyone was doing missions except you, Itachi and Kisame. You didn't mind either of them, Itachi was quite most of the time and Kisame even though he spoke a lot, was actually nice to talk to.

"Oh man I wish there were more days like this" you told the duo, laying on the sofa in the common room.
"Why's that Y/N? You like spending time with us?" Kisame asked you, giving you a toothy grin.

"More or less" you winked at him playfully.
"I just l o v e the silence and the peaceful atmosphere"
Just right when you finished your sentence, Kakuzu entered the hideout, carrying some kind of bag in one hand and ... Hidan's head in another hand.

You sat up and mentally face-palmed yourself
"Hey Kakuzu, don't you know that you are not supposed bring trash inside? It's supposed to be in a bin" you gave him a smirk.

"Shut up you stupid bitch, just wait until Kakuzu puts me together. I will fucking kill you" Hidan's mouth was still running even when his body was in 7 pieces.

Kakuzu sighed "I should sew his mouth too" you nodded in agreement. He then disappeared to his room together with Hidan.

You looked over at Kisame and Itachi, one of them still grinning and the other one being done.
"What?" you raised an eyebrow at Kisame.
"Oh nothing much, I'd just say you like Hidan If I didn't know any better" you were still looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

"W-what makes you think that?"
"I don't know, you tell me" with this he left who knows where, leaving you with Itachi, confused.
"He just wanted to say that we see how you're looking at Hidan" he obviously saw your confusion so he explained, but now you were even more confused.

"How exactly am I looking at him?"
"Different. We saw it a few moments ago too" he said giving you a smirk.
"But h-" you were interrupted by a loud voice coming from the hall. Great, the loser is here. You looked over at Itachi who was still smirking.

"You fucking bitch. So I'm a trash huh?" Hidan was now standing in a doorway, smirking.

"Yeah, but I suppose there's no bin big enough for your stupid ego so we have to have you here" you smirked back at him. Not gonna lie, you liked to piss him off.

"You are fucking dead" he swung his scythe at you, but you dodged it.
"Too slow"
"Bitch I will fucking sacrifice you to Lord Jashin and then fuck you for him" he swung his scythe again, still not successfully.

"So sad you have fuck dead bodies, cuz alive ones would not fuck you" you knew damn well this was a lie, cuz you are alive (for now) and would gladly fuck him.

"Oh are you fucking sure about that? I'm pretty sure a bitch like you would gladly fuck me" he stopped swinging his scythe (he'll soon swing something else) and smirked at you.

"Well I'm not saying I wouldn't...but you are still a trash" he knew you will give up. In no time he was standing so close to you, his dumb face only inches away. Shit how you wanted to kiss him, but also punch him right now.

"Can you stop smirking like an asshole and kiss me already or do I have to punch it out of you?" he hesitated a bit, being abused made him aroused..probably, but then he kissed you hungrily. You got closer to him-well more like he pulled you closer to deepen the kiss. There was already a bulge in his pants, poking against your tight. You smirked when you noticed it and pressed your knee on his bulge.

"Gross." you heard Kakuzu almost vomit. You couldn't help, but laugh causing Hidan to pull away.
"Jealous fucker?" Hidan smirked at Kakuzu, who was not impressed at all. Remembering that he already had a bulge and you haven't done anything yet you said "I hope his dick is as big as his ego" loud enough for Kakuzu to hear.

"Wouldn't count on it" Kakuzu said, still not impressed. There was a moment of silence before Hidan spoke up
"Hey what the fuck is that supposed to mean"
You laughed and left him there, not realizing Kakuzu (and lowkey you) said he has a small dick.