It's so ironic, you know. I could count on the top of my head the amount of times others have made you cry and the amount of times I had to wipe those tears away. And years later, I'm suddenly the one spilling tears because of you. I never really realized before but I always took your side. I've turned my back so many times on so many people because of you. But you were my friend then. You still are now, but this time the thought pains me.
If someone told me three years ago that you'd be the one I'd spend my waking days thinking about, I would definitely laugh. Funny, how I said you were like my brother and just a week later I harbor these unwanted feelings.
But I'm glad, actually. You said I gave you comfort, you made it your reason. We're still friends and nothing more. These words cut through my heart, but I never told you. Instead I just accepted it. This way, if ever I start liking you, if ever I get hurt, it wouldn't be your fault. It would just be me being fragile. Because I did ask you, and you did tell me. This way, I wouldn't have to put the blame on you. This way, I wouldn't assume things.
I do hope, though. That maybe one day, someday, you'd reciprocate. But hope is only hope. It doesn't change anything.
I'll keep these feelings hidden away inside me because I don't want you to be uncomfortable. We're friends. I just want you to be happy. And if my happiness is the cost for yours, then I'm willing to give that away. For you.
Because no matter how much I end up denying it, I know. I already know.
