We didn’t break up after I found out. That was a bad day.
We were sitting outside in our usual spot. The previous night I had a conversation with a close friend of mine. She knew what had happened and She hadn’t directly told me. But I knew it happened. That was until I made myself not believe it. I assumed that after giving him a second chance, which he didn’t deserve, he wouldn’t do it again. Just like he promised.
I shared with him the conversation we had.
Then Emily and Rebecca called me over. I actually told him to stay right there and I ran. I actually ran to hear what they had to say so I could return to him. Then they told me.
I could hear my heart shatter like glass. I didn’t go back to him. I left him sitting there alone. He knew what was coming.
Then he ran after me. My feet stopped trying to get farther away from him. It was pointless. He would catch up to me sooner or later. We ducked behind a shed.
“Is it true?” I asked, tears glazed over my eyes.
He looked down at me.
He took a deep breath and whispered “Yes”
I didn’t know it was possible for my heart to break any more.
“Cassidy, I love you.”
“Daren, that’s the worst part. I love you too”
“all I want to do is be with you”
“that’s all I want too” I sniffled. He was all I really wanted.
The bell rang. We walked back inside, hand in hand. Like nothing had happened. When my whole world came crashing down, he seemed like the villain and the hero at the same time. He caused my heartbreak but there was nothing more that I wanted than to be with him. And he wanted that too.
Stepping into my first class, I looked directly at Helena and said, with anger burning in my eyes,
“How could you? I thought I could trust you!”
I slammed my binder onto my desk. I was about to cry but I didn’t want to show that. I just wanted anger to seep out of my ears like in the cartoons. I wasn’t going to cry. Nope. I will save that for home. When im all alone and nobody can comfort me or pity me. Because I will be silent. Like I’ve been doing for over a year now.
Throughout the day, my anger increased. I started thinking
How could you
We were friends
I trusted you, both of you
How could this happen to me twice?
Is there something wrong with me?
I hate her
No I hate myself
Shes so much better
Theres something wrong with me
WHY???
When the end of the day came, I asked him not to sit by Helena. And he didn’t
Just like he promised
But I’ve learned that all his promises break.
Every last one.
